Sunday, October 21, 2007

Friday, October 19, 2007

Retread Stuff

I'm much greener than I was in May when I wrote this little piece. I no longer drive "Guy" the 50 mile roundtrip to work every day. I ride in a commuter van with 8 other sweet people, and I've made a great friend because of the ride.

Here are my thoughts from back in May:

I commute to Buckhead from Riverdale daily and I want to share my thoughts with that guy.

That guy is the driver who fights to position himself in the far left lane then decides that going with the flow of traffic is too much to ask of him, so drives 10 or so MPH slower than all the other cars on the highway (except the poor drivers behind him).

Dear That guy,

I realize that I am not an emperor of the world (as you obviously are) so should feel honored that you cut me off this morning in your haste to get into the far left lane of the "Connector" this morning. I'm beginning to understand that I probably don't need to drive at the speed I wish - you're there to regulate the speed of all the cars behind you and the crisp 40 MPH you determined should have been good enough for me. It was really fun watching all the cars jump in front of you, delaying us further.

I leave my home at 7am so that I'll make it to work by the 8:30 start time my boss has dictated. I drove behind you wondering if you were self employed with no appointments since you obviously were enjoying the lovely view of the downtown highway and were in no rush to get anywhere.

I made 2 efforts to pass you. Each time you sped up and drove bumper to bumper with the car ahead of you to prevent my move.

I want to thank you for ensuring that I don't suffer from low blood pressure (marked increase in my numbers I'm sure during the ride).

I have on last thought for you: *^&%^&(*( ^&^%&^ )*(&*&^^!!!!!!!!

Now that I ride in the HOV lane (I say H.O.V. and my daughter Brooke says hov - like it's a word - she's wrong of course, but she lives in Delaware and that's how they are up there) I see the emperors blocking traffic every day. I'm thrilled as I speed past them.

I suppose this is a commercial for ride sharing - help save the planet and lower your blood pressure at the same time. I'm saving time and money too. My monthly cost is $87.50 - MUCH cheaper than the $60 parking bill I paid plus the cost of 4 tanks of gas per month. Think about it - maybe you can form a car or van pool in your community - or join an exisiting one.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Stub Stuff

I've had this blue ticket stub for almost 2 years. It has it's own place on my desk at work. I usually don't follow instructions, but for some reason I felt a real compulsion to obey the ticket master. Number 757709 was my ticket for some drawing or the other and since it says. "keep this coupon" I'm holding on to the sucker.

It's amazing how many of my hopes and dreams have gone into my purchase of these tickets. As the number calling guy or chick begins saying the winning number, I stand in amazement - 7... YES! I have a seven! 5... Hey. That's two for two. 7... Oh. My. God. I have three of the numbers already! My little heart starts racing. I begin to sweat. 7... This is my lucky day. FOUR numbers. Woo-hoo.

I glance at my neighbor to the left. What a coincidence - he has 7577_ _ too. I sneak a look at the ticket on my right - she's another winner - maybe.

I realize that the winning numbers are the last two and that everyone has 7577_ _. My plans for my winnings are dashed as the number caller says, "9", then "6". No one raises their hand to claim the prize. The caller repeats the numbers and gives the winner 30 seconds to claim their prize.

I wait, hoping that the winner has walked away or is stuck in the bathroom or lost their winning ticket. I scan the ground for the winning ticket. Nope.

The 30 seconds finally pass and the caller begins the sequence. I won't be fooled again and I don't even look at my ticket this time until after the first four numbers have been called.

My beating heart won't be controlled and again my mouth is bone dry with anticipation. C'mon zero-nine. Mamma needs a new pair of shoes. C'mon zero-nine.

The next number is "0". Aaaaaaaah! Imma win... imma win... ooooh... Imma win!!!.

I prepare myself for the long walk to claim my prize. I wonder if I have time to add a little lip gloss and I suck in my stomach, ready to go.


I pretend to be happy for the bitch to my right who just won. Look at her - all smug and happy. Hmmmph.

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Pro Choice Stuff

Here are a few of the reasons I'm Pro-choice!

Friday, October 12, 2007

Silly jali Stuff

I've been asked repeatedly throughout my life to refrain from singing.

I ignored that request back when I was 4 or 5, riding in the Dodge Dart with my family, singing "Puff the Magic Dragon" at the top of my lungs. (until my mother snatched off her flip flop and bopped me in the head)

I ignored that request when I forced my parents and their guests to be my audience as I performed my rendition of the "Alice in Wonderland" album in our living room. I could see the "request" in my parent's eyes, but since we had company, I knew that the request would remain unspoken, and since their friends were way too polite to do anything but smile politely and listen, while praying for the album to end, I had their captive ears.

I ignored that request when driving my children and their friends to the skating rink. I wisely used my time to share amazingly hip rapping skills along with my clear pure voice with all those in the mini-van.

I still love to sing. I've finally accepted that others don't understand my talent and don't appreciate my selfless efforts to entertain.

I sing along with the radio (even though I rarely know what I'm actually singing about (since it's a "crunk" station and I'm just cranky) in the car all the time. Songs get stuck in my head and I find my self singing if I'm walking alone and not really paying attention.

I usually shop late at night in the neighborhood Kroger grocery store. The store plays an in-house radio station that plays a lot of music I know.

The last night I shopped there was a real memory lane experience for me. "Africa" by Toto was playing as I walked through the produce section. Coincidentally, the showers over the veggies came on, so I was feeling the African jungle thing and I guess I was moving to the music as I sang with the lead. A cute guy stopped in the aisle and was staring a me. "Whoa", I thought, "I must be looking pretty good tonight if I'm stopping men in their tracks".

Dumb jali didn't consider that her performance might be a little much at midnight in Kroger.

I finished my performance and the guy turned to move on.

"No", I thought, "Not yet." I wheeled my cart and followed him, then did my "Boom chick a wah-wah. (You know, like the Axe commercial). I thought it would be funny and a great conversation starter.

It wasn't my greatest moment.

The guy stammered that he was in a relationship and that he'd better be going.

I guess I just amazed him by making a spectacle of myself.

Some people dance to their own beat. I sing to my own tune.

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Stuff stuff

I am officially a snot factory. I must have lost 20 pounds in snot and phlegm since Sunday night. I went to get some "Musilex (however it's spelled) and learned that a small bottle of the stuff costs $22.99. I bought the store brand for $8.99 and it worked pretty well.

I've been sick at home for the last couple of days and I've already gone through a box and a half of tissues. I'm writing this with pieces of tissue stuck in each nostral and I'm breathing through my mouth. I can't taste or smell anything. I have a headache. I'm grouchy as hell.

I'm writing this from my laptop AT HOME!!! Yup - I moved and have the internet at home so I'll be able to see all the videos posted to your blogs. I listened to two episodes of Laurie and DD's radio show. I'm a big gil now!

Tomorrow from work I'll send myself all my links to your pages and I'll be able to visit again. I got a couple of links from the addys I remembered, but I want to see you all.

I love my new apartment except for the occasional bug I've found. The place was spotless on inspection but once I moved in they started to show their nasty little faces. The exterminator was here yesterday and hopefully there will be no more. I'm sure it's like a comedy watching me trying to kill a bug - I'm scared it might get on me so I sort of jump around (moving target)screaming curses at the bug. I went out and bought bug spray and I DROWN their little asses in poison. I drown them. I left a bug where he croaked to warn all the other little fuckers to go away. I think it's working except I'm afraid of it every time I check to make sure it's still dead. I'll probably get Jack (my 16 year old baby)to move it for me (that's why you have kids) tomorrow.

I live in the same complex as ex-husband number two - my son Jack lives with him so I get to see him all the time now. He comes to eat although he insists he just wants to see me, and I've been trying to fix his favorite dishes and I send him home (down the block) with a plate for his late night snack with instructions NOT to feed his pops although Charles probably has a good burp courtesy of the evil ex-wife.

I'm getting used to life without Adrian. No more on that.

I'm watching the movie "Overboard" again tonight - it's one of my favorites (I have so many favorites it's ridiculous). "If you have a baby, you won't be the baby."

I'll be posting the film festival winners soon - I'm just a lazy ass sometimes. Sorry.

Friday, October 05, 2007

News Stuff

Since this is my first entry for the week, I searched and searched, vowing to impress you guys.

In my travels across the 'net, I found the following article.
September 28 2007: 11:15 AM EDT
SEATTLE (AP) -- Ever wonder what the Seahawks' locker room tastes like after a big game?

Apparently, Jones Soda Co. thinks Seattle NFL fans want to know. The company started taking online pre-orders Thursday for a five-pack of sodas with flavors it says reflect the hard work of professional football players.

Clare Bowles, a spokeswoman for the Seattle-based company, said the four literally named flavors -- Dirt, Sports Cream, Perspiration and Natural Field Turf -- are "pretty lifelike."

"Perspiration Soda is kind of salty tasting," she said, with a slightly higher sodium content than the average soda, with a smooth, "stinky football sock" finish.

A sip of Sports Cream Soda conjures up the experience of rubbing ointment into an aching muscle, while Natural Field Turf Soda is like "playing tackle football, and you get tackled really hard, you're down on the ground and you get a little bit of the grass in your teeth," Bowles said.

The only sweet soda of the bunch, Sweet Victory, has a berry flavor.

Each bottle features the photo of a Seattle Seahawks player. Limited quantities of the five-pack will be sold in select stores starting Oct. 1.

I love football, and I've been known to enjoy a salty or tangy flavor now and then, but Perspiration Soda just ain't for me.

Did anyone catch the Chris Matthews show last Sunday evening? He used the word "dissed" twice in a discussion about the Republican candidates skipping certain debates they were invited to. Dissed. WTF???

Interesting News

Okay, it's not really news, but since the site is new to me I'm posting it as news:

While I'm at it, one of my favorite game makers has added a new game to his site. It was done as a commercial job but it's as much fun as the others I've played:

Personal News

I had the pleasure of having brunch with restaurant gal and lex here in Atlanta a few weeks ago. This was our first face to face meeting and we laughed and talked for hours like old girlfriends rather than like strangers.

It's amazing how close we can get through our electronic connections. The three of us were able to confide in each other without hesitation since we are already friends. I was able to tell them things that I hadn't been able to discuss with others that I see on a regular basis. My online friendships are important to me and I trust my long distant friends.

I won't share any of their hilarious stories - they'll probably blog about them sometime in the future.

I hope to see both of them again soon and hope that others may want to hang out with us next time. Tina, cleopatra and mist1 - I'm sorry that I was so last minute in making arrangements that we couldn't get you. (I moved that weekend, so things were really confused)

Dallas December 6th - 9th. Any takers? (send me an email - I'll send you my #)

Have a good weekend. I'm off to play trivia - I'm at level 13 badge - I'm addicted.