Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Monday, December 11, 2006

Sick of Reporters Stuff

T.O. (for you non football fans Terrell Owens is a wide receiver who has been the center of sports media attention for quite some time) was interviewed after the Cowboy's loss last night to New Orleans.

I was impressed by his poise, his acceptance of his responsibility along with the rest of the team for their loss and his refusal to bad mouth anyone at all.

Despite T.O's outstanding effort to avoid conflict by choosing his words wisely, the reporters continued to ask leading questions, it seemed they were hoping to create controvery by using a negative soundbite for a front page story.

He called The Saint's offense "explosive" while maintaining that his own team is good. He said that he was happy to be a Cowboy.

He's been criticized for off the cuff statements made to the media - he's had words (I'm sure) taken out of context and used against him. The camera follows him for reaction shots instead of giving us the replay the viewers really want.

It's true that Terrell Owens has made mistakes in his life - in his career - in his time as a Cowboy, but this overdose of scrutiny is getting to be ridiculous. He is not the devil incarnate (my ex-husband holds that position very proudly) and the kid should be left alone sometimes.

Thursday, December 07, 2006

TV Stuff

Seems as though ranting is my thing.

I'll start with the local news today. I'm sick and tired of the newscasters taunting the poor weatherperson because they don't like the forecast.

"Jim, I wanted to play golf today and all you can tell me is that it's going to rain. C'mon and bring us some sun." (laughter in the background audible since this is obviously soooo hilarious)

I would love to see the tables turned just once!

The newscaster finishes his report about a string of robberies and shootings in the downtown area. The weatherperson has something to say.

"Bill, I wanted to walk downtown safely today and all you can report is crime. Enough with the murders! C'mon, bring us some better news." (cue laughter of the crew)

I'm sick of the "only on 11-Alive" stories. If it's really news then all the major stations will carry it by 11pm. Your "exclusive" regarding the high price of haircuts for kiddies this fall isn't necessary.

I'm tired of the false camraderie of the "news team". The promos for the news (strange concept when you think about it) indicate that the team lives, works and plays together. They pose these days like the actors of the WB did back in the day (here I go with that worn out phrase again) with either the serious newscaster look or the sappy smile frozen on their heavily made up faces.

I feel as though the actual news is much more important than the personalities involved and that I can do without a profile of the sports guy. It's nice that he has children, but his family isn't news. Giving us 3 minutes of his kid playing Pop Warner football is wasted filler.

I really dislike the news people going over the top about the local sports teams as though they didn't go over the top in the other market they just transferred from. I think it's okay to report news from Atlanta and still be loyal to YOUR sports team. I think it's okay to report news from Atlanta and NEVER share your personal likes and dislikes with the public. I just want the news.

I can't imagine making Channel 9's website my homepage. I'm told I could have "up to the minute" weather and traffic reports if I do it. Instead I look out my window for rain. No rain then I assume I'll stay dry. I'm in Atlanta. I KNOW the traffic is going to suck. I can figure out the degree of suckage based on the time of day or the season of the year.

Rubbing hands together in that sexy villianous way. Who will be my next target? Hmmmm.

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

More Rant Stuff


In some circumstances, stopping to see the lights is a great thing. Homes and businesses are adorned to celebrate the holidays and many enjoy the creativity of those who decide to celebrate the season. (see Beauty and the Beer's posts with photos http://www.beautyandthebeer.com/)

In other circumstances, stopping to see the lights is just idiotic. THERE IS NO REASON TO SLOW DOWN OR STOP IF AN OFFICER IS WRITING A TRAFFIC TICKET. We know that the lights are purdy, but we want to get to work. (Yes, you on the Connector this morning!)

What's up with the holiday ties that DON'T MATCH ANY OTHER PART OF YOUR OUTFIT? I'm happy to see so many feeling the spirit of the holiday, but ties should match your suit! "Whimsical" is a look better achieved by infants. You look strange.

Hint - you don't look cute without a coat when it's 20 degrees outside. You look like you just got robbed.

A Bush/Cheyney sticker driver cut me off this morning. I should have expected it since in their mind, I'm sure they were just maximizing their commute and I would have been acceptable collateral damage if I had crashed.

We're doing a "white elephant" holiday gift exchange at the office. We've been told to spend less that $10 since it's just for fun. I'll bet someone (one of the better paid of the office) goes to the $ .99 store for their gift - and I'll get stuck with it. Last year I got a FREE (to the donor) tee shirt that someone didn't want. I traded it for a Magic 8 Ball (woot-woot!) by a holy person who considered it the work of the devil. I made most of my decisions last year based on Mr. Magic. (shut up!)

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

I'm Full of It Stuff

Yeah, yeah - I know. I'm full of "it", but this post is about the opinions of different things I'm full of. We'll talk about the other full of another day.

I'll start with commercials (I love this topic!)

The new Dunkin' Doughnuts commercial has a catchy little tune about the "foreign" words that other coffee houses use. When did "latte" become a word in English? I know that almost everyone understands what a latte is, but the word has been adopted since our obsession with coffee drinks began. When I was young the choices for coffe beverages were, black, dark, regular or light. The song asks, "is it French or is it Italian?" It's Italian.

I love the commercial for the Heissman Trophy with all the mascots racing through the city. I play a little game with myself to see how many I can recognize, and I shout them out (even if I'm alone which is kind of sad when you think about it). The one I never miss is "the Yellowjackets!". The exclamation point is there 'cause that's how I say it every time.

I still hate all the diamond commercials. "Every kiss begins with Kaye." Such bullshit. Every kiss should begin with genuine love for your dude. We are not diamond whores and don't hold out on giving affection based on holiday gifts. The Jared Jewelers commercials are even worse - we are not screaming banshee bitches who would refuse a gift because it came from the wrong store.

There's a goofy commercial for I truck that I like since it's imaginative - the truck is accidently dropped and goes through the different layers of the eart, finally ending up (and upright) in China. The center of the earth creatures are just what I imagined and will continue to believe in.

I hate the f%$*ing "priceless" cartoon for MasterCard because of the gross inaccuracy - the commercial quotes "turkey dinner with all the fixings: $55." In what magic land can a household full of people be fed for $55? It just irks me.

I'm sick of the Lexus commercials with the car outside with the big red bow and the two neighbors both hoping it's a gift for them. In my house major purchases are discussed. Period.

The Volvo commercial with the cute little girl singing irks me too. The implication that if I love my family I have to buy a Volvo is irritationg as hell. My kids love my 1989 MX6!

I don't want to see any more "Krystal Stories". This woman actually says that her coworkers "love her" because she brings them breakfast. Pretty smug aintcha? Oooh - if I want love at work I'll buy it too. Another Krystal Story is by these college dudes who try to eat 12 packs of burgers in 3 minutes. Gross! (I also am a White Castle lover and don't like these imitation burgers at all)

Taco Bell is trying to condition me to expect a "Fourth Meal". WTF???! Isn't obesity a big problem in our country? Now there's a high calorie, high carb, high fat "fourth meal" that we should expect from now on. Great.

Jared of Subway fame is annoying as hell too. We're all glad that you lost weight 10 years ago but c'mon, you're a snarky idiot and the anti McD's commercials are bullshit. I'm not McD's advocate, but their salads, low fat desserts, juices and fruit choices are a pretty good effort. You commercial claims that nothing on their menu is low fat.

Speaking of McDonalds I HATE the commercial where the guy calls his roommate to say he brought chicken sandwiches for lunch. He answers his roommate's questions about mornings like SUCH an asshole, "It's called a Jobbbbbbb..." I want to smack the black off his face. (old saying from my hood - don't be so sensitive).

I have never had and never will have a "happy period." Who makes up this shit? Bah humbug, Kotex.

The dropped calls commercials irk me too. I automatically check my phone if I can't hear the caller speaking. These folks who keep talking must be new to celly use or something.

I feel a little sorry for the 4 dorks with pastel work shirts from the various cell companies who only have each other to talk to. That's a sad life. (I hate the commercials!)

Oh, I have more.... I'll save them for another day.

Monday, November 27, 2006

Additional Stuff

Adrian fixed my car as a birthday gift. He doesn't get a pass because of it although it cost a lot of money. I'm still pissed! Ever been too angry to even discuss? That's where I am right now.

I go to Dallas Texas for my company's holiday party 12/14 - 12/17. Any of you guys in Dallas? Drink? You see where I'm going...

Football was great this holiday weekend. The college rivalries were fun, but the pro games were HOT! My Giants lost - I'm a little sad, but the Philly loss made up for that (still laughing). I did pretty well at my picks this week. The Falcons got "beat the &%$* up" (paraphrase the movie Friday). Goooooo Saints!

The movie Eragon is coming. I WILL be there on 12/15 in the mall near my hotel (the 4 Seasons in Las Colinas- yes I'm bragging - I can't afford it) to see the movie. I know, I could be doing Dallasy stuff, but I must see this film.

I smoked a ciggie - I was in the middle of the argument and picked up Adrian's ciggie reflexively. I wish I could say that it was nasty, but it tasted soooooo good. Today would make 3 months since I first quit and I blew it last night. Oh well.

I love some of you very muchly too!

Sad Stuff

This post was inspired by the wonderful Luke at http://www.fantasybeyond.com/urbanknight/blogger.html. I'm in a pissy mood due to relationship shit so a sad post is right down my alley.

Here are my "tearjerkers" in different catagories:


Time in a Bottle - Jim Croce - His death makes this song so much more poignant to me.

Mercy, Mercy Me - Marvin Gaye.

Miss Saigon, The Cast Album- almost every song on the album brings me to tears. Now that I've Seen Her - I Still Believe - There are so many - these songs are heartbreaking - I can't listen to the album without crying.

Renee - Lost Boyz - It's like a punch in the stomach for me.

Janie's Got a Gun - Aerosmith - Another punch in the stomach. They made us face the realities of "Middle America."

Stan - Eminem - heartbreaking. Genius.


Death Be Not Proud - John Gunther - I read this in high school and I still grieve for his son.

Angela's Ashes - Frank McCourt - the descriptions of life for his family broke my heart. I cried for Frank as a little boy.

The Color Purple - Alice Walker - I had to stop and start and stop and start - I cried repeatedly.

The Joy Luck Club - Amy Tan (also The Kitchen God's Wife, The Hundred Secret Senses) - she's a great writer who has pulled me into the Chinese culture.

Feast of All Saints - Anne Rice - early college days - it really moved me.

A Seperate Peace - John Knowles - this was back in high school and I cried for a long, long time.

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Rant Stuff

My car, Guy needs a rest, so I've been taking the bus and train to work. The ride isn't bad - well most of the time the ride isn't bad.

I just don't understand some people here in Atlanta. There might be many seats available and lots of room towards the back of the bus but certain people INSIST on standing in the front. One guy talks to the driver so his place is pretty much assured. (It's almost like folks are fighting for pole position for the race -The race from the bus to the train at the last stop) The others crowd around the first guy so that people getting on at later stops really have to squeeze past them to get on the bus. This of course adds to the commute time and the annoyance factor.

The cell phone on the bus people get on my nerves too. I don't really need to hear the lastest "crunk" ringtone at 6:18 when I feel I should be sleeping. I don't really need to know what everyone wore to the party last night or who "Nay-Nay" went home with. I wouldn't need to know in the late afternoon, but in the early AM I really don't need to know about your life.

The "tell us all, why dontcha" people irk me too. The sun has not yet risen and most of us are content to sit quietly - reading or gathering our thoughts during the ride to the train. Then YOU get on the bus and seem compelled to share your most mundane achievements with all of us - you just need someone to be your outlet. We watch you scanning our faces as you walk the center aisle - looking for a victim - we who know better refuse to catch your eye or smile - the innocent newbies might say "hello" which is the only opening you need. You launch into a long discussion of the reasons you're on the bus in the first place, what time you left your home, the temperature outside, the forecast for tonight, and what you might cook depending on the price of chicken breasts at Publix. (It's fun to watch the newbie's face change from friendliness to forced after a few blocks of non-stop lip action)

Other quieter speakers can't be heard over her "outside" voice and any competition for our attention is quickly vanquished. We are all forced to hear her opinion of the latest films, music, style of dress, young people, the bitches on her job who are out to get her, her ex-husband and his new wife and whatever was on televison last night. She explains that she's not from Atlanta originally and how the transit system in her hometown is so much better than this. She doesn't care that the person she used to get started has something to say. She has the floor and filibuster (although we have no vote here) it shall be. I call her "sister soliloquy" and I'm sure other riders have their own pet names for her. It's gotten to the point that some mornings there's a audible sigh of relief if she misses her regular bus and an involuntary groan if we see her in line. One older lady phrased is well, "Oh Lawd, here she comes."

The 2 seater people are another annoyance. Why must people ask you to move your belongings to allow them to sit down? Is it possible that you feel your purse needs its own seat? Were you raised by impolite wolves? I see one lady do this every single day. Someone must ask her to move her bag. EVERY SINGLE DAY. How did she NOT learn the day before?

Tomorrow - the wonderful train ride.

Monday, November 13, 2006

Time Off Stuff

Thanks to everyone who came looking for me, asked about me and waited for me. You guys are great.

I have no excuse to give you for not responding to your notes - I'm just full 'o shit sometimes. Please forgive me.

I can't even promise that I won't disappear again - I'll try to give warning next time.

I started a blog for the job and it's turned out well.

I'm going to spend the day - probably the next few days reading all of my "regulars'" pages. I miss you guys!

Friday, October 20, 2006

TV Movie Stuff

Found this here: http://www.filmwise.com/visual/bigscreensmall_01.shtml

Name the Movies/TV shows - I'll give you a hint for the first one: "You rang?"

Big screen: Raul Julia Small screen: John Astin

Big screen: Dan Aykroyd Small screen: Jack Webb

Big screen: Ben Stiller Small screen: Paul Michael Glaser

Big screen: Goldie Hawn Small screen: Lorna Patterson

Big screen:Christopher Lloyd Small screen: Ray Walston

Big screen: Jim Varney Small screen: Buddy Ebsen

Big screen: Claire Danes Small screen: Peggy Lipton

Big screen: Walter Matthau Small screen: Joseph Kearns

Big screen: Will Smith Small screen: Robert Conrad

Big screen: Jennifer Lopez Small screen: Carla Gugino

Big screen:Christopher Walken Small screen: Anthony Michael Hall

Big screen: Kristy Swanson Small screen: Sarah Michelle Gellar

Big screen: Eddie Murphy Small screen: Bill Cosby

Big screen: Shelley Long Small screen: Florence Henderson

Big screen: Jennifer Grey Small screen: Jennifer Aniston

Big screen: Colin Farrell Small screen: Robert Urich

Big screen: Elliott Gould Small screen: Wayne Rogers

Big screen: Nicole Kidman Small screen: Elizabeth Montgomery

Big screen: Janine Turner Small screen: Barbara Billingsley

Big screen: Harrison Ford Small screen: David Janssen

Big screen: Bill Murray Small screen: David Doyle

Big screen: Alicia Silverstone Small screen: Rachel Blanchard

Big screen: Walter Matthau Small screen: Jack Klugman

Big screen: Heather Graham Small screen: Marta Kristen

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Blog of the Week Stuff

Please take the time to read this wonderful writer's work. She's literally brought tears to my eyes on more than one occasion. Please add her to your blogrolls.



I'm in the mood for talk so I'll be going on and on today, probably jumping from topic to topic. (who said that's what I do all the time?)

If there's a state superior court, doesn't that mean by definition that there must be an inferior court?

Today the left lane drivers worked together and we refused to let a single driver who was in the HOV lane get in front of us to avoid the police car up ahead. I watched him get busted in my rear view mirror. It's sad that I felt so victorious, but this happens every day and some times the cheater get theirs. Karma at work. Yay! (?yeah? yah?)

I'm all for any child's adoption. If Madonna will give a baby a better life, then I think it's wonderful. Boo to the naysayers who would rather the baby be left in an orphanage.

My favorite commercial right now is the "Sonic" ad where the husband says he's going to write in his blog about the new ice cream treat to share the experience with his readers. His wife responds, "You mean reader. Your mother." Hilarious.
Second for me is the Dwayne Wade - Cadillac ad when he rides off on a bike after giving the neighborhood coach a new S.U.V. - touching.

High beams in fog is not good. Why don't some drivers know this?

A child's birthday party should include more children than adults, serve foods that children like and liquor should not be the table centerpiece or the highlight of the day.

I'm still afraid to eat spinach. I have frozen spinach in my freezer, and despite my urge to eat it, I just can't make myself. Friends have explained how safe it is - I just don't believe.

I've always wanted a monkey as a pet. (no guys, Lester doesn't count).

My ex-husband (#2) asked me last night if in retrospect I felt that our breakup was a mistake. I had to mute the call so he wouldn't hear me squealing with laughter since he was being serious and I suppose, his version of sweet. I tried to be diplomatic and kind. I wanted to say, "Hells No! It was one of the best things to ever happen to me." I didn't, so I'm expecting something good as a reward for my restraint.

Why must some people answer each and every cell phone call they receive? I don't understand being that available to everyone at all times. I'll no longer stand for it - if you ignore me to talk to someone else - I don't mean a brief conversation then I'm outie!

Passengers going through fast food drive throughs should be ready with their orders - I don't want to sound like a special ed child over the mic: "Um...one - no two small - no (what did you say?) no - make that large fries. (yes the fries come with the value meal) - no cancel that - make it one small fry and an onion ring - no (shut up you guys - I can't hear!) I'm sorry, make that a large onion ring, please. Please hold on for a moment. (c'mon you guys, what else do you want?) Okay, I'm ready, I'd like two fish sandwiches, one superburger with no pickle and a crispy chicken with extra mayo.(no, I'm not asking them to change it now - c'mon now - damn!) Hello, I'm sorry, can we start again? Okay - One large onion ring, one small fry, a fish sandwich, two burgers and a side salad please. No - nothing to drink. Nope." I've gone through this too many times to count.

I just noticed that "Mary Worth" and "Mark Trail" are still on the comic pages of the newspaper. Who reads this stuff? Actually I looked at all the different comic strips and none of them were funny enough to warrant publication in a major newspaper. Some of them are really poorly drawn. (lightbulb) Hey! Maybe I can do it too - I'm not very funny and I can't draw for shit - I could be a local superstar in the newspaper. (I just remembered "Chasing Amy" when poor Banky was ridiculed as a "colorer". I've got to rent it again, soon. - God, my mind is a mess)

I'll be back with more stuff later.

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

More Football Stuff

I've seen football "training camps" for women crop up all over the country in the last few years. The following was taken from the Falcons web site regarding an upcoming event here in Atlanta.

The Atlanta Falcons Women's Association invites fans to the Falcons Football Academy to learn the Xs and Os of football through hands-on instruction from current and former Falcons players. Enroll in the NFL 101 session to learn the basics of the game through hands-on instruction, or in the NFL 201 session to learn what the pros know including an opportunity to participate in a flag football game!

I started my love for football as a member of the "Ocean of Soul", Virginia Union University's marching band. (sounds like jali's a talented musician, doesn't it? Nope. I was a pom-pom girl and proud of it! We were high stepping cuties in great uniforms IMHO) For a time, I considered the actual football game to be the intermission between performances of the band and knew almost nothing beyond the fact that the uniforms looked good on some of the players from the back and that we were supposed to play a hot song after every touchdown. During one of these intermissions I asked one the guys about the 1st, 2nd, 3rd down thing and why the numbers kept changing as the team made it's way down the field. After he explained that actual lightbulb going off in my head moment happened and I started paying attention to what was happening on the field. (and finally cheered at the right moments thank you very much)

I'm from NYC and the Jets and the Giants are our local teams. There's an unwritten rule that one must choose one or the other - we're not supposed to root for both teams and my decision was made by my father (the controller of all things electronic in our home - this may have been one of the first man laws) who was an avid Giants fan. It's pretty simple to pick the team you get to watch regularly.

Well, kind of regularly... If the game was a sell out, then we were able to watch it on TV. If the game wasn't forecast to be a sell out then we would literally drive to Dover, De. to watch the game. My father loved the idea of a road trip and the opportunity to hang with his Brother-In-Law and partner in crime, my Uncle Dave. They would drive to Maryland (where beer is sold on Sundays) and get ready for some football! The games may not have been actually blacked out, but since my father was the Emperor of our home and all he surveyed, his word on this was never questioned. I remember even catching a ride up from VUU to Delaware to surprise my Dad one weekend to learn that he decided not to make the trip, and that I was stuck with very little money and classes in Virginia the next day. My family pulled together (after the game of course) and put me on the train and I made it back safely. I decided to concentrate on college football (and my grades too, I suppose) for the rest of the semester.

I didn't return to regular cheering for the Giants until the 1980's. I married and had children in the 70's and found other things to occupy my Sunday afternoons back then. (Laundry, spying on cheating husband - all the exciting happenings in the life of a fly girl.)

After moving back home (sounds sad to move back in with my parents as a divorced adult, but it was great for me! More about all that in a later post) I was able to focus a little attention on professional football.

My dad was happy to have a football partner in the house with him again- My mother and sister made it clear that they would rather eat each others boogers than watch football. My dad and I spent many happy afternoons arguing (he inspired by Georgi Vodka - me with my sense of righteousness) the finer points of the game.

In the late 80's early 90's our Playoff/Superbowl Extravaganzas began. No catering was acceptable at any of our football fests. We would cook for days then solemnly gather at the church of the NFL for that particular game to give praise. We would dress up a little for these particular games - they were more important that even Monday Night Football - these were the playoffs.

Superbowl Sunday dawned bright and clear every year (regardless of the actual weather - happiness makes everything shiny). Some years I was Queen of the pick - others, for example the year I walked into the house singing, "Don't Mess With The Bills" - was the year that Dallas stomped all over the Bills defensive line. Can't pick 'em all.

I guess the point of all these words is that you have to take the time to learn to love the ballet of football. Every offensive movement is a well rehearsed step downfield. If some of you imagine beautiful choreography instead of game playing, you might be able to see a little more of the beauty.

ProBaller Stuff

This was written mostly on Monday and just never posted. I was too busy reading all of your lovely pages so don't get upset.

The Giants. (to really feel it, please say it the way Mike Ditka said, "the Bears"')

I had a BALL yesterday watching the beloved Giants defense make their "jump shot" celebration move SEVEN times yesterday in the game against the Falcons. Seven sacks - a Michael Vick record. I generally root for the Falcons since I live in Atlanta, but my heart belongs to the Giants. There are a lot of former New Yorkers living here and the cheering section for our team was strong.

New Orleans did it! Sorry rev. steve but I'm happy! Boo Eagles!

One giant sized bag of Lime flavored chips and 2 large jars of salsa and cheese will only last for about 7 or 8 minutes in Atlanta if the Falcons are losing. I can report that the Atlanta fans watching from my home yesterday really started eating when their QB got sacked. They were also very quiet in the second half of the game - as opposed to the loud and boisterous chanting they did during the beginning of the game.

Edit: The game last night was unbef*%^inglievable!

Juast have to post this about my little school:

I attended Virginia Union University, a small historically black college in Richmond, Virginia. As I did a little research this week on an NFL player I knew way back when and have been bragging about for years, I learned that others from V.U.U. played for the N.F.L. Roger Anderson played for the New York Giants from 1964 - 1968. James Atkins played for one season for the Titans in 2003 and one for the San Francisco 49-ers in 2004. John Baker played for the Giants in 1970. Malcolm Barnwell played for five years as a pro, 1981-1985 for the Oakland Raiders, The Los Angeles Raiders , the New Orleans Saints and the Redskins. Carl Bland was another former V.U.U. Panther who's NFL career lasted from 1984-1990 as a Detroit Lion and a Green Bay Packer. There are others: Hez Braxton was a pro from 1962-1963 playing first as a Charger, then as a Buffalo Bill. Mike Brim played in the NFL from 1988-1995 for a number of teams: Phoenix, Detroit, Minnesota, New York (Jets) and Cincinnati. Pete Hunter played as a pro from 2002-2005 for Dallas and Cleveland. Cornelius Johnson was a Baltimore Colt from 1968-1973. Bob Jones played from 1973-1976 for Cinti and Atlanta. Tony Leonard (the guy I knew) played for the San Francisco 49-ers from 1976-1979. Irvin Mallory was a New England Patriot in 1971. Bobby Phillips also played for one year in the NFL: 1995 for Vikings. Herbert Scott's career lasted much longer, 1975-1984 as a Dallas Cowboy. Adrian Wright played for one year for the Tampa Bay Bucaneers in 1987. Pretty good for a small school.

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Tagged Stuff

I'm down with the cool kids, I'm in with the in crowd, I'm one of the boys...
I got tagged!

1. One book that’s changed your life.
A Wrinkle In Time by Madelyn D'Engle. It gave me a love for sci-fi.

2. One book that you have read more than once.
Pride and Prejudice by Austin - I read it every year.

3. One book that you would want on a deserted island
Araminta Station by Jack Vance to take me away from my lonliness, starvation and impending death.

4. One book that made you cry
Their Eyes Were Watching God by Zora Neal Hurston is the first tearjerker that came to mind. The Color Purple by Alice Walker, The Good Earth by Pearl Buck - there are so many that have made me cry.

5. One book that made you laugh.
Six Of One by Rita Mae Brown

6. One book you wish had been written.
Another in either Sarah Shankman's or Anne George's series.

7. One book you wish had never been written.
I don't like this question.

8. One book you are currently reading.
I'm re-reading The Old Wine Sellers by Martha Grimes.

9. One book you’ve been meaning to read.
Sequel to Tracy Hickman's and wife's series but I'm waiting for paperback - Ca't afford hardcover.

10. One book you're glad to own.
All of them
11. One book from which you must read aloud.
Green Eggs and Ham by Dr. Seuss.

I just found the tag at Macarena's site: http://macarena-de-verano.blogspot.com/2006/10/book-whore-one-book.html

Monday, October 09, 2006

Football Stuff!!!!!!!!

I play "Beat The Hosts" on HBO every week. We pick the teams we like for upcoming games and hope our record is better than the four hosts, Chris Collinsworth, Chris Carter, Dan Marino and Bob Costas.

I printed my picks and brought them home this weekend. "A" and my son, Charlie scoffed at many of my choices for the early games. I asked them to pick right then and there so that there would be no changing of horses midstream (they deny this, but we all know the deal).

I can't take credit for the teams winning any of the games, but I can take credit for picking all eight of the winning teams that played at 1pm EDT on Sunday.

I picked KC over Arizona but I got the next four wrong. Jacksonville killed my Jets and San Francisco shocked the hell out of me! I usually go with the 49-ers but I decided to go with my head instead of my heart this week - bad choice. I'm still waiting for Pittsburg to win...sigh. Let's grab the announcers mic from Jerome Bettis and put him back in the game.

My low of the day: The eagle's win over Dallas. I don't particularly care for Dallas but I HATE the eagles! The pregame show of egg throwing and jersey burning was a great reminder to me of what I don't like. (rev. steve, you're the only Philly fan I love so don't yell at me)

My highlight of the day: Immediately following the TV announcers discussion of Reggie Bush's college record for running TD's from deep in his own territory, Reggie Bush ran for one of the most beautiful touchdowns of the day. His first NFL touchdown and I got to see it! Magic!

I have Baltimore tonight and I'm sticking my fingers in my ears and ignoring all you naysayers! Gooooooo Colts...I mean Ravens! (for the youngsters: back in the day, the Colts played in Baltimore - google Johnny Unitas to see for yourselves)

EDIT: Anyone remember the L.A. Rams? (google Rosie Grier (Pam's needlepointing cousin), or Fred Dryer, Eric Dickerson or the Youngbloods)

Friday, October 06, 2006

Musical Stuff

The other day I touched on music and how it can affect you (well how it affects me, but I use the language as I wish). Marvin Gaye's music brings out the love, but other music brings out other feelings.

If I'm driving long distance I need hot music from my past to keep me going.

Unfortunately when I start singing (okay, squawking for those of you who've heard me live), I start speeding without realizing it. I'll glance down at the speedometer ( a rent-a-car of course, with a working speedometer since my car doesn't deal with such petty information anymore) and shock myself (ooops - 97 MPH, I didn't mean to do THAT), I'll give the gas a break for a while and go with the flow of traffic. I might stop the CD player and listen to the local radio station for a bit. I usually go for "urban" radio, but once in a while I might listen to country of classical music.

Country music is safe for driving - at least until something like, "Jesus Take The Wheel" comes on. I can't help looking around to see who's listening to the same station and actually letting Him take the wheel while they apply makeup, eat a salad, or argue with their wife. After watching some of the other drivers on the interstate, I make a soon to be broken promise to myself to drive 55 for the rest of the ride.

Classical music is hazardous for me in a car. It usually starts out quietly, so I in turn drive at a moderate pace. The tempo and volume increase so I have to drive faster to keep up. Crescendo! By the time the movement climaxes, I'm driving over 90. The big (f*%^!!) ticket I got on the N.J. Turnpike was a direct result of my listening to classical music.

I can no longer listen to any type of music while walking down the street because I'm overly conscious of the beat, and have to step along with the music. Fine if I'm listening to something with a moderate beat - less fine if a song like "Whip It" by Devo is playing. Imagine watching someone trying to walk down a busy sidewalk as if they were being controlled remotely by a comedienne with a wicked sense of humor. The sexy aura I'm famous for goes right out the window and people literally stop and stare.

Music works for me if I'm making an entrance somewhere and the beat is just right. That awkward walk into the club becomes my personal fashion show down the runway if something jazzy is playing.

Or not.

Sometimes the music changes mid-entrance and I'll find myself prancing to "Country Road, Take Me Home" or something else I hate and I have to admit, the look isn't good. It's hard to do the sexy walk thing with a smirk of distaste on one's lips.

I've talked about me being stoooooooopid in the gym. The "Rocky Theme" is the worse thing I can listen to while working out. Amadeo noted another song that has a similar effect: "The fighting theme for "The Karate Kid". They both make me feel invincible, mighty, dum-dum-dum-dum: Super-chick! I'm answer D on the health quiz - none of the above and my body pays for the music for days after the event.

Certain music is mood killing. "A" and I sleep with the TV on every night, and don't consider program changes while in the mood for love. We've had to stop once we realized that early morning TV includes Gospel Hour and it's hard to feel sexy while someone is screaming, "Jesus". (correction, it depends on who's screaming and in what context, but I think you guys know what I mean).

"Musak" makes my teeth hurt. I hate certain elevators and rest rooms that are wired to the same station that all dentist seem to use. I sort of wait for the drill sound and even though I know I'm not at the torture chamber, my subconscious reacts to the sounds.

Rap automatically takes me back to Afro-puffs and the 'revolution' until I listen to some of the lyrics. "Lean with it, rock with it" or "My laffy-taffy" don't exactly call for social change. Rock isn't good for me at certain times since I'm usually compelled to play the air guitar which doesn't go over too well in the produce aisle. For some reason, when I listen to rock I really believe I can sing and I've scared people with "Hit Me With Your Best Shot" at the wrong moment in time.

Neo-soul and R & B are my favorites for almost everything. Right now Lupe Fiasco just makes me smile - no matter what I'm doing. Ceelo in any form (in any collaboration) is a good mood maker and Jill Scott is inspirational to me (know what I mean? -wink!)

What music works for you guys?

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Mushy Stuff

Marvin is a celebrity I never met, but dreamed of dating when I was a teen. I was convinced that one day he might look across a crowded room and see the chick he had been waiting for; and honest chick, a sweet chick, a chick with great hygiene, a big Afro and great S.A.T. scores. Me.

Instead of my dating dreams coming true, I married A Nightmare on Elm Street (he was going by the name Lester back then - Freddy was the alias he used in the film).

I married the second dude (if you must know his name is Beetlej____ - don't say it 3 times or you'll be very sorry!) instead of waiting for my dreams to come true.

My guy was Marvin Gaye. I remember holding the "What's Going On" album cover in my arms and staring at Marvin's face. I fell in love with him based on his lyrics. I followed Marvin's career closely - I even bought the collabo album with Diana Ross (Love Twins- ewwwww). I actually compared the dudes I dated to Marvin. I played "Come Get To This" repeatedly - even my Dad knew all the lyrics and he didn't really like Marvin Gaye.

It's amazing how music can really transport you to a place you might really need to be in your life. Marvin's music gave me the understanding of exactly what I wanted from love.

I imagined that I'd never find the ideal I'd come to expect listening to Marvin sing. Witty as well as sexy. Confident as well as sweet.

I've found that ideal, my sweetheart: "A".

"A" is more than 10 years younger than me. (shut up some of you guys with the rude comments!) He's close to my height and he is very, very slim. When people meet "A" as my man, some seem surprised. Based on what they've seen in the past I think they expect a six footer with a lot of muscle who's a couple of years older than me.

I've never been in an easier relationship and I've never been happier.

I love you "A".

Friday, September 29, 2006

More Random Stuff

(for Mike fans:"neener")

Why do I regularly find myself running into people who know me who I can't remember at all? Then I have to spend the rest of the day trying to figure out the who, what, when, where and especially the why of the relationship with this stranger who greeted me so warmly. (Now shut up! It's not always alcohol related - I am not a drunk!)

I do the fake, "how are YOU?" and smile while my brain is sorting through the possibilities. I usually ask, "how is everyone?" (trying for a clue) still smiling like I know who the hell they are.

Sometimes they give it away, but most of the time the response is, "Fine." so I'm still at square one.

The worse is if I'm with someone and the stranger is waiting politely for an introduction : ain't gonna happen since I don't know who you are. Playing this off is always a big test of my acting skills and my deodorant. Sometimes the deodorant loses.

I don't remember the names of a couple of people that I've have sex with. Messed up or just a little senility? I thinks it's pretty bad when I'm doing my head count (heh-heh on the pun) that I have to say, "that cute dude with the big 'fro from the Bronx" instead of "Marvin Atkins". I don't think I've had more partners than the average chick, so it's probably just a senility issue. I don't want to be a Ho' (did you know that it's really "whore" pronounced differently?) but if I am, I guess I just am.

I can name almost every teacher and professor I've ever had and most of my classmates from elementary school. (why this is something I'm proud of mystefies me).
I finally watch the TV show "The Office" - I love it! I used to work there - they called it Bell South Call Center at the time.
I've decided that I'm going to an afterwork party today - Why? I think I look cute today and don't want to waste all this fly girl. "A" doesn't get home from work 'til almost midnight so someone has to see me to appreciate it. Beer goggle compliments are always accepted here.
I went downstairs and hung out with my smoke break friends today - they're all so funny and cool and I missed them since I was afraid that I would break down and smoke if I went outside during the day. The urge is just as strong, but I'm still hangin in there. Why are there all these recent reports on how tough it is to quit?
A local radio show was discussing stupid songs. The discussion started after a caller asked the host to stop playing "Chicken Noodle Soup" calling it the dumbest song he ever heard. The host came back with "The DoubleDutch Bus" as the dumbest song ever and the caller conceded the point. What's the dumbest song played in regular rotation on the radio that you can remember?
How does a team go from "Superbowl contenders" to "worst in the league" in one week? Ask some of these ATL fairweather Falcons fans. Damn! It was only one game.
Love you "A".

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Blog of the Week Recap Stuff

Here's a list of some of the greatest pages on the internet. These are in the order they were posted (without the original witty comments).

Go stop by to see rev. steve, steph, ms. ann, laurie, dirk, mike, elaine, and mist. You will have a ball - guaranteed!!!

http://mybigfatfkinhead.blogspot.com/ (edit- thanks to rev. steve)





http://nonsenseservedalmostdaily.blogspot.com/ (edit- thanks to deb)



Thursday, September 21, 2006

Health (Yeah right) Stuff

When Jali Cook does something stupid it's usually not just your regular "duh" kind of stupid. It's the "affect her whole life - makes even Mike Tyson question her common sense" type of stupid. The kind of stupid to make onlookers wonder how she made it to old age. You've heard that old expression regarding 'babies and fools'. Well, guess it's true.

My stupid highlight for this week (and yes there are usually a few to choose from - just like ESPN) is me at the health club on the first day.

I walked in to the workout area with my stomach sucked in as far as I could hold it (as to impress those out of shape people all around me) with a look of determination on my face. The place was pretty crowded and although I lectured myself on the car ride over, I knew I was going to totally disregard my own instructions as usual. (see, I know myself pretty well and try to avoid my self destructive bullshit - but alas these efforts are usually to no avail).

I told myself in the car that I was going to the gym to firm up a bit and to improve my health. I was not, I repeated: NOT going there to show the other people what great shape I was in. (especially since it's been FOREVER since I crossed the gym threshhold). I was not going to sneak a peek at my neighbors stats on the treadmill so that I could go one faster or longer. I would not count the number of sit ups on the incline the others were averaging so that I could do a few more. "This is NOT a contest", I told myself.

It seems that self is an ass.

I took the next available treadmill and immediately checked the stats of my neighbors - "That thin towel can't hide the information from inquiring minds like mine...hmm (squinting as I read) - Incline: 4.5 and speed: 3.0 to the right of me. Incline: 3.0 and speed 4.0 on my left."

I would have to make my incline at least 4.6 and my speed at least 4.1 to prove that I was the champion workout queen in the gym. I know, you're probably thinking WTF is wrong with her. It's not a competition.

I know this now, but by the time my machine started (after I input my stats including false weight information) the theme for Rocky was playing in my little confused head. I was huffing and puffing at the 20 minute mark, sweat pouring into my eyes and ears. I couldn't stop. There were still a few people who started the treadmill before me.

I was in misery. I was soaking wet and it was difficult to breath, but like a mindless robot I continued to jog along at an incline that was waaaaay beyond my capability.

Finally the other competitor gave up. Triumphantly I pressed the "cool down" button.
"Five more minutes? This machine must be f*^%ing crazy! I can cool down on my own."

I slowly wended my way through the various machines on the main floor of the gym, pretending to read the instructions; actually trying to catch my breath before the competition continued.

I happened to have noticed the very few sets of incline sit ups the previous competi..um ... people completed. I knew I could shine in this area. I did my first set of 10 with confidence - my form was great: no rush of movement - every slow sit up measured as I watched myself in the mirror. The next set wasn't as easy, but my form was still perfect - I had to show the onlookers what a great sitter-upper I am. I began grunting with effort and unconsciously sped up the movement during the next set. No reason that each one needed to last a count of 20. Okay, form might suffer a little but I have wonderful endurance. Shit!

Thank god (and I meant all the gods that have ever been worshipped) someone wanted to use the incline. I graciously and generously relinquished my position to the newbie, wiped off the equipment and made my way across the floor. (labored breathing - sweat still flowing)

OMG, would you look at the time!

I went into worried look mode (so that others would see that something must have happened to make the gym champion leave) and rushed out of there.

I sat and sweated in my wonderful car 'Guy' for a few long minutes before summoning the effort to pop in the clutch, release the handbrake and pull off.

more stupid to come...

Beta Stuff

Beta isn't betta!

(for those lacking the ability to read words outside of standard English the traslation: Beta isn't better.)

I base this opinion on the crap I've gone through trying to post on pages that have "upgraded" to Beta recently. I love you bloggers, but I don't have hours and hours to give to the Blogger gods regularly. It's frustrating to write a witty response to a wonderful post, hit the magic button and find it lost forever. Forever.

I've found that my efforts in reconstructing my comments aren't ever quite as good as the original try - it's difficult to find humor when you're pissed at a program.

Please know that I'm reading, enjoying, learning, copying (c'mon I run out of ideas sometimes), and improving based on your weblogs. My comment just might be lost in space (danger Wil Robinson).

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Copy Cat Stuff

Saw "25 Favorite Television Characters" post at http://www.miss-ann-thrope.com/ 's page and I decided to be a big copy-cat today. (double speak for: she has no ideas and she's thrilled to find something she can use today)

The rules:
Must be regulars on the show.
No mini-series. (killed my plan to use Roots characters)
No reality show people.
No puppets or cartoons. (some of my favorites characters are cartoons)

It seems that stealing an idea isn't quite the same as using the idea well. I'm starting this list at 10:02 EST. Let's see how long it takes me to make 25.
List completed at 11:38 EST. That was fun!

These are in no particular order: Well, they're in the order I remembered them but not in order of preference. You know.

1. Claire Huxtable of The Cosby Show (Phylicia Rashad)
2. McGyver from McGyvre (Richard Dean Anderson)
3. Al Bundy from Married With Children (Ed O'Neill)
4. Men on Film aka Men on Books from In Living Color (David Alan Grier, Damon Wayans)
5. Homie Da Clown from In Living Color (Damon Wayans)
6. Stuart from Mad TV (Michael McDonald)
7. JonLuc Picard from STTNG (Patrick Stewart)
8. Joe Mannix from Mannix (Mike Conner)
9. Liz McIntyre from Room 222 (Denise Nichols)
10. Marie and Deborah from Everybody Loves Raymond (Doris Roberts, Patricia Heaton)
11. Phoebe Bouchet and Monica Geller from Friends (Lisa Kudrow, Courtney Cox)
12. Gregory House from House (Hugh Laurie)
13. Erica Kane (hyphen-hyphen, etc.) from All My Children (Susan Lucci)
14. T.J. Hooker (psyche!) Captain James Tiberius Kirk from Star Trek (William Shatner)
15. Brisco County, Jr. from The Adventures of Briscoe County, Jr. (Bruce Campbell)
16. Grace Van Owen from L.A. Law (Susan Dey)
17. Det.Kima Greggs and Bubbles from The Wire (Sonja Sohn, Andre Royo)
18. The Tates, The Campbells and The Major from Soap (see IMDb - too many to type)
19. Jim Rockford and Angel from The Rockford Files (James Garner, Stuart Margolin)
20. Dr. Phillip Chandler from St. Elsewhere (Denzel Washington)
21. Murphy Brown from Murphy Brown (Candace Bergman)
22. Suzanne Sugarbaker from Designing Women (Delta Burke)
23. David Addison Jr. from Moonlighting (Bruce Willis)
24. Corrado 'Junior' Soprano from The Sopranos (Dominick Chianese)
25. Officer Bobby Hill from Hill Street Blues (Michael Warren)

Friday, September 15, 2006

Movie, (ahem) Film Stuff

I recently became another Blockbuster zombie. I walk up and down the drama and comedy aisles looking for "classic" films that I never took the time to see so that I'd be able to catch up with the rest of the world and stop smiling vaguely when any of these movies are mentioned in conversation since I hate to admit that I'm not in with the in crowd. (run-on sentences are funky!)

Here's a list of movies I recently watched and loved:

Confidence - Really good caper flick. Edward Burns is the selling point for me, but Paul Giamatti, Dustin Hoffman, and especially Frankie G were outstanding. (Frankie G was the mechanic in The Italian Job). A con within a con on top of a con - great stuff!

Lucky Number S7evin - love this movie - Another con caper - I was surprised at the end so I won't print a spoiler - but damn! (and I payed attention). I was SHOCKED at the ending. Josh Harnett was great, Lucy Lui was hilarious, Bruce Willis: terrifying. Morgan Freeman and Ben Kinsley were good as the crime bosses.

Akilah and The Bee - Wonderful and moving film. The lead actress was outstanding. Great to see Ike and Tina (c'mon...you know who the actors are) acting together again. (smile) This was my "feel good" movie of the weekend.

Tsotsi - I cried. And cried. This film was made in South Africa by South Africans - it's subtitled and it's the story of redemption. There are some scenes that are difficult to watch, but it's truly worth it. The tribe of little children living alone broke my heart.

Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels - Sometimes a card sharp ain't as sharp as he thinks. Sometimes a gansta ain't as gangsta as he thinks. Sometimes a thief doesn't steal the show. Funny as hell, great dialogue. This little slice of London is a dangerous place to live.

This is Spinal Tap - I don't believe I missed this gem all these years. These guys are EXACTLY right as an aging rock band who just doesn't get it. I understand why this is a cult classic. Now I have to catch, "A Mighty Wind" to see these guys together again: Michael McKean, Christopher Guest, Harry Shearer and Rob Reiner are great together. Good stuff!

I have a couple more DVDs left to watch: Hotel Rwanda and The Big Lebowski - Yes, I admit that it's stupid that I haven't seen these movies. Damn! Stop laughing at me. Stop it!

Just remembered a couple more recently viewed films and I can't do the same topic tomorrow so I'm adding these to the mix.

Inside Man - I loved putting the pieces together after the fact (like the hole that was dug). Much better than I thought after seeing the promos. Well executed plan and I really like the motive for the crime.

19 Blocks - Anyone can change. Great theme. I really liked this one too.

Nanny Mcphee - Good family film - Watch for the changes in Nanny Mcphee. Good little movie.

Blog of the Week That I Forgot to Post Last Week Stuff


I like this chick. A lot.

You will too! Please check out her archives. Look for "Hubby" post. Laugh.

Thursday, September 14, 2006

Experimental Creative Stuff

Any takers? Can you do an entry using these parameters?

Begin the story in bed. End the story in bed.
A meal must be eaten at some point in the story.

Come back and link your piece here so we all can enjoy.

Word Verification Stuff

Sorry guys but the stupid 'bot comments have started, so I have to do the word verification- pain in the butt thing. I really hate some marketers! Please don't ever click on their links - maybe they'll eventually stop if there's no response.

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Immature Stuff

I'm old as them thar hills, but my sense of humor hasn't grown up. I find certain names to be hilarious, and I have to really make myself keep a straight face when I find something funny that other adults just don't. Why other adults insist on being grown ups is beyond me. I'm here to have fun.

The name 'Dick Small' is just too funny to me. Why not call yourself Rick or Richard or Ricky? What if after he gets undressed you find that his dick really is small. What then? I know that it's currently PC to say that size doesn't matter - it doesn't when we're working within certain parameters - but c'mon, outside those parameters it does. (to all my guy readers - of course I don't mean any of you - you're the best! ...and of course your assets fall well within those parameters)

When I lived in NYC, I'd hear the name 'Lipshitz' on a regular basis, and I'd have to fight down the giggles. I'm sure the name means something fabulous in the mother tongue, but hey - we're in America, I'm immature and I always imagine some sort of vague little shitty lips.

When I was a kid (not as long ago as you think), I'd get excited when the new phone books were delivered - I just had to see if Zora Zzyz was still the last entry in the Queens directory. It didn't take much to amuse me back then and I remember always hoping that Zora still held her place each year. Sadly, one year I checked and there was a new sheriff in town - I actually said a prayer that Zora had only moved - not died.

Certain words make me smile for no real reason - (no, not the attractive cover girl smile you're imagining - that goofy, "oh shit" smile regulary worn by idiots all over the world). The word "monkey" is hilarious to me. "Pokey", "stinky", and "dooky" are funny. If you cross my path and I have that far away look in my eye and a stupid grin going on, realize that I'm probably thinking of stinky monkeys making dooky.

I don't generally like slapstick type humor but to watch an ghetto runway queen (every where she walks is a catwalk - everyone she meets is a potential producer) trip and wobble a little and then try to play it off (like - "I meant to do that") is funny as hell to me. I usually love it when someone gets knocked off the pedestal of their own making.

Another slapstick type funny move is the "shaking my long luxurious all natural hair out of my face...then the oh no, there goes my weave" move. I've never seen a chick pick up that lost piece of hair. They always ignore it and I suppose pretend that the honey blond extension is from another girls head. I've seen this more than once.

One of my favorite shows on television is South Park - I never tire of their very special brand of humor. My favorite character a while back was Big Gay Al. Why? His name is just funny. Big Gay Al. Say it out loud. Funny as hell. Then there's the catch phrases from the show that I find the need to repeat endlessly. "Tim-may! Timmy, Timmy, Tim-may! Some people get my joke and laugh, some people get my joke and give me "the look", some people think I'm a special needs adult since I use the character's inflection everytime I say it. "Tim-may! Timmy, Timmy, Tim-may!" I imagine it's probably annoying to others, but because of my immaturity level I find that I really don't care since it's funny to me.

There was a time when I would only watch TV shows like Ren and Stimpy, Mad TV, PeeWee's Playhouse, and Beevis and Butthead. I wasn't exactly the commercial marketing department's dream target audience for any of these shows but I was dedicated.

Gross jokes and mean jokes are my favorites to hear. I don't really tell them since I want people to think I'm nicer than I really am (isn't this another sign of immaturity?), but I truly relish hearing a new gross joke. Send 'em in - I promise I'll appreciate them.

Are you mature yet?

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Unsportsmanlike Stuff

My quote from yesterday's post: "I won't comment on any other games right now except to say that I've got the Vikings and I've got the Chargers for tonight. I like the away teams this week. - oh and I hate the Redskins! "

I didn't see Minnesota stomp the Redskins - wish I had...

There were 16 games played this weekend/last night - only 5 home teams won their contests: Pittsburgh, New England, St. Louis, Jacksonville and Arizona.

Green Bay, Tampa Bay and Oakland (by the bay) were all shut out at home.

I love this game!

Monday, September 11, 2006

NY Stuff

I really do love New York. I'll celebrate the city as my tribute.

Take the NY-er quiz:

1. What is "regular" coffee?

2. Name at least 2 "Ray's Pizza" shops. Compare any versions of Ray's to a chain pizza shop -Pizza Hut (shudder) or Dominos (ugh).

3. What's a "dirty dog?"

4. What do you play skelly with? Where?

5. Where are most of the handball courts found? What kind of ball is used?

6. Where's uptown?

7. What's commonly called "the city"?

8. What's a bodega?

9. What is a botanica?

10. Where can you buy bun and cheese?

11. Where can you find roast duck to go 24 hours per day?

12. What do you always find in the front display at a diner?

13. Is Amtrak at Grand Central Station?

14. Grand Central Parkway is called ___________ when it reaches Nassau County.

15. What borough never had the 718 area code?

16. What's a dollar van?

17. Where do serious "ballers" play in the Village?

17a. Where's the Rucker?

18. Where in the city was the Paradise Garage? The Loft?

19. Where is the city's biggest "Labor Day Parade" held?

20. Name 3 free bridges in the city.

21. What's a bialy?

Random Stuff

This weekend was cool.

Let's go backwards and talk about Super (yes it was dudes - yes it was) Sunday first.

The Falcons and the Panthers - 20 to 6 - The Falcons kicked ass! Pretty good game on Fox yesterday but some of the camera angles in the broadcast were ridiculous. Hint - We really do want to see the wide receiver actually catch the ball. Vick was pretty sharp - A couple of really nice drives.

Indy and New York - 26 to 21 - The outcome was really not unexpected - I'm a Giants fan and would have loved for Eli to beat Peyton and the final score indicates that it wouldn't be an impossible dream. I didn't see the broadcast, but I've read the game play by play and I'm happy that it wasn't at all one sided. Peyton is undoubtedly a superstar QB and Eli seems to be on his way. Oh, and I like the commercials with Archie.

The Saints vs the Browns - 19 to 14 - Finally, I can say the name "Bush" with pride.

Cowboys and Jags - 24 to 17 - Byron Leftwich did a great job leading his team yesterday. In the 2nd half of the game Drew Bledsoe obviously did not. T.O. had a respectable game IMO and I hope some of his critics shut up. (I hate the Eagles and anything T.O. does well this season is a slap in Andy R's face) Bill Parcells has bigger boobs than me. I didn't notice them back when he was coaching the Giants since he usually wore a jacket since it's a little cooler up north - man! - get the dude a bra! I still don't know what that challenge was for right before the snap - just a waste of a timeout.

Baltimore at Tampa Bay - 27 to 0 - The very first play I saw in this game was the Ray Lewis (my hero) sack in the 3rd quarter. No pirate ship firing this week, huh? Steve Mcnair has found his stride.

The Bears vs the Packers - 26 to 0 -Time for Brett to retire! I thought that it was ridiculous to allow Favre to play 3 full quarters in the 2nd game of the pre-season and it's ridiculous to leave him in after so many incomplete passes and sacks. I'm glad for the shutout and I hate the Bears. BTW -"A" is from Mil-wack-ee - he hates it when I say that, so it seems I must - sigh.

NY Jets vs the Titans - 23 to16 -Without Herman (alas, I still can't think of him as the chief of the Chiefs) the team is doing pretty well. As for the Titans - too little too late.

I won't comment on any other games right now except to say that I've got the Vikings and I've got the Chargers for tonight. I like the away teams this week. - oh and I hate the Redskins!

Saturday was a good day - I went bowling with "A" and his coworkers and I actually played 2 games. I wanted to enter the group competition for $10.00 per head, but "A" wisely refused to put up the cash since my high score to that point was 98. The winner's score was 208 and I suppose my hanging out in Margaritaville led me to believe I had more skill than I actually displayed.

We continued the fun at Ted (one of the coworkers) and Val's beautiful house and dined on wings and salad while drinking pretty steadily. Val and Ted seemed to have been waiting for a group of drunken friends to come over in order to play Pictionary. After 20 or so minutes of arguing over the rules, who gets to go first on each team, who had the best pencil, which side of the cards we were playing, who might be a cheater, who would referee, and the big one - what color would represent our teams (both wanted green to represent money - we really were stuck on this issue for a while). These may seem like simple things to settle - not for a bunch of drunk people.

Finally the chicks gave in and we accepted blue as our color and the game began. We quickly moved through the first few challenges and the men seemed annoyed (my "A" actually called us cheaters). One of the players on the men's team kept wandering away from the table in the middle of their round and we wouldn't allow them spontaneous time outs.

The guys sucked. (I had a whole sentence here about the differences in perception and the differences in expression of those perceptions between men and women, but I decided to go with the bottom line - the guys sucked). Our team made it to the final square before the guys were halfway through the board.

Exhausted from the game, the chicks team moved to the living room while the guys decided to play poker.

The ladies had a fascinating conversation regarding hot flashes and our sex drives that continued until we fell asleep on our hostess' gigantic wrap around couch to the sounds of drunk guys trying to bluff each other.

"A" woke me with his wonderful Henessy breath and we took our leave. By this time I was okay to drive and we made it home safely.

Romance and hard liquor aren't always great together, but I swear it's big fun. We romped (took forever to find an acceptable word) for what seemed like ages until right in the middle of a sexy move "A" fell fast asleep - snores and all. I cuddled up to him - then moved quickly away - the snore gave that Hennessy breath an entirely different flavor - one thats totally incompatable with my sensibilities.

Back to Sunday...

After football I hung out at Skatetown in Jonesboro, Ga. and stayed until closing (11:30). I wasn't very adventurous last night and stuck to all the moves I'm already comfortable doing. (and more importantly, know I look good doing)

I was home by midnight and watched "Something New" (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0437777/) again, this time with "A" and enjoyed my second viewing more than the first time. I love this movie! I was a "big girl" and went right to bed immediately after the movie ended, so I wasn't pissed at the world and I didn't throw the clock at the wall at 6:00 when the alarm went off. (as I sometimes do)

How was your weekend?

Friday, September 08, 2006

Oops I Forgot Stuff

I can't believe I didn't mention this. (whispering firmly: DON'T F***ING TELL HER! We still have to live there)

My home has recently been taken over by a kitten named Grady who has graciously allowed us to stay there as long as we remain amusing and feed her on time. On time means whenever the hell she says it's time.

Why, you might ask, is her name Grady?

Her name is Grady since my very imaginative man "A" was the one in charge of naming her. Oh, by the way - she's gray. (Yuck-yuck)

I've learned that getting up to pee in the middle of the night will be an adventure, since 3 in the morning is the time of day that Grady feels should be used to teach us new tricks. She's generally pleased to find either of us up and doesn't care that we want to go back to sleep.

"Mwreoff" (meaning: "hells to the naw mofos - you're mine now - time to play")
"C'mon sweetie, lay down and go back to sleep." (this is A talking to me)
"Mwreofff" (meaning: "did you mean to defy me? Get your sleepy ass back over here")

I love A, but Grady scratches the hell out of my legs and feet when she plays the "dare to move your feet while you sleep" game so I know what I need to do.

Wearily I grab the catnip toy...

Instructional Stuff

I went to the office breakroom to get a fresh cup o' ice (my morning chew treat) and a cup of hot water for my pack of instant oatmeal (regularity has become important to me as I age) and noticed that the beverage vending machine has a pictorial to explain how to use the machine. There's a little hand putting a little coin into the little slot. The next photo is of a little finger punching the little button. The last photo shows a can of soda in the "pick up your beverage" area of the machine. What'll we do if the pictures get damaged?

I don't recall ever learning from pictorial or written instruction how to buy a soda (or any other item) from a vending machine. I'm pretty sure I saw someone else do it at some point and just copied their behavior.

All shampoo bottles list instructions to lather... rinse... repeat. The words aren't complicated, but one must be able to read the words to understand the instructions. Generally one has had at least a couple of shampoos before learning to read, so I would imagine anyone buying shampoo doesn't need to be told how to wash their hair.

If we go to a grocery store and look at a photo illustrating any food package the words, "serving suggestion" will be in fine print somewhere near the bottom of the photo. Now, I'm not saying I'm brilliant, but even as a child I didn't expect the package content to look exactly like the photo on the box. Why do our manufacturers have the need to let us know that the photo is a serving suggestion? Are there hoardes of people ready to initiate lawsuits if the piece of parsley in the photo isn't included in the box? A can of corned beef hash usually shows a sunny side up egg sitting happily on the plate with it's partner, corned beef hash. Happy toast with a perfect square of butter sit to the side, opposite to a big ole glass of orange juice. Serving suggestions. Who is the world actually expects the egg, the juice and the toast to all appear after opening the can?

Guys may not be familiar, but most chicks have seen the pages and pages of instructions (usually written in English, Spanish and French) that come with a simple box of tampons. There's also a detailed drawing included showing a sidecut of a woman's body and the parts of her anatomy that are involved during a "happy period" (I hate that f***ing commercial). If we follow the drawing the insertion should be simple. Just in case the drawing doesn't suffice, there are the tri-lingual instructions as backup. If I were the one to write the instuctions the box would say - "plug it up". That's it. That's all.

Times when instructions would be really helpful to me are the times I find that they're not included in the packaging. My first husband (why oh why god, why!!!?) needed instructions explaining that due to his very short attention span and minimal intelligence he would tend to forget that he had a wife and children, and that he couldn't be expected to come home on a regular basis. Oh, and his package theme song should have been, "Liar, liar, pants on fire."

It would have been great to get directions for evil ex-boyfriend "W" explaining his need to control everyone around him and his crazy jealousy.

Imagine going for a job and reading the instructions for your boss - insecure and tends to take credit for work subordinates do. Would have saved me sonme heartache in the past. (my current boss is GREAT - he doesn't need instructions so no one needs to forward this article to anyone)

I would love to see what instructions for handling me might be. Any ideas besides 'handle with care'?