Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Mushy Stuff

Marvin is a celebrity I never met, but dreamed of dating when I was a teen. I was convinced that one day he might look across a crowded room and see the chick he had been waiting for; and honest chick, a sweet chick, a chick with great hygiene, a big Afro and great S.A.T. scores. Me.

Instead of my dating dreams coming true, I married A Nightmare on Elm Street (he was going by the name Lester back then - Freddy was the alias he used in the film).

I married the second dude (if you must know his name is Beetlej____ - don't say it 3 times or you'll be very sorry!) instead of waiting for my dreams to come true.

My guy was Marvin Gaye. I remember holding the "What's Going On" album cover in my arms and staring at Marvin's face. I fell in love with him based on his lyrics. I followed Marvin's career closely - I even bought the collabo album with Diana Ross (Love Twins- ewwwww). I actually compared the dudes I dated to Marvin. I played "Come Get To This" repeatedly - even my Dad knew all the lyrics and he didn't really like Marvin Gaye.

It's amazing how music can really transport you to a place you might really need to be in your life. Marvin's music gave me the understanding of exactly what I wanted from love.

I imagined that I'd never find the ideal I'd come to expect listening to Marvin sing. Witty as well as sexy. Confident as well as sweet.

I've found that ideal, my sweetheart: "A".

"A" is more than 10 years younger than me. (shut up some of you guys with the rude comments!) He's close to my height and he is very, very slim. When people meet "A" as my man, some seem surprised. Based on what they've seen in the past I think they expect a six footer with a lot of muscle who's a couple of years older than me.

I've never been in an easier relationship and I've never been happier.

I love you "A".


~Deb said...

It's happiness and love that's important...not looks or age. Marvin was a CLASSIC! His music moved many...

Christina_the_wench said...

Awww love. =)

Mr. Fabulous said... sweet...estrogen is flowing out my pores.

How is the hygiene these days?

J R Estelle said...

Love always comes when you least expect it.

mist1 said...

That's so sweet.

(wipes away chunks of vomit stuck in nostril)

Lex said...

Aww. That's sweet...and encouraging. I'm glad to know that you can find love that's right after the nightmare.

~Macarena~ said...


10 years is wicked awesome!!!!!!! My mother advised me to marry a younger man (my dad was nearly 10 years younger than her) because she thought an older might try to control me.

How tall are you?

I regret to admit that I thought you meant Marvin Lawrence, which I thought meant you were so cool, you had an afro in the '90s.

Jennifer said...

Awwww...that's so sweet. Maybe you should just scrap the incognito 'A' and start calling him Marvin here. ;-)

Steph said...

collective AWWWWW!

Congrats to you. Seems like you've snagged yourself a good one.

C said...

So mushy. But cute.

Kav said...

Good for you jali. Linzi and I, on the surface, appear to have very little in common. She doesn't even like videogames, for God's sake. But somehow it works for us. Glad to see you've got the same.

Oh, and I'm the younger guy too...though only by a couple of years. ;-)

Anonymous said...

I finally opened up to something new. I played Marvin most of the night last night.

Mushy, huh?

mr. fab,
I can raise my hand...(I'm sure)

You're right!

Did you have a tissue?

I'm a lucky chick.

I'm 5'5 1/2" - he's about 5"7". I AM cool (if I keep saying it will it make it so?)

His name is Adrian.


I know - I didn't think I was this mushy, but I really am.

I'm the video game player - Adrian is the too cool for video games one. Linzi and you seem like a great couple! (everyone go to Kav's page to see for yourself).

Elaine said...

how sweet.

oh..(looks around) and ten years younger than you?! HIGH FIVE!!!!

djn said...

Sounds like you both scored big time! Love it!

Amadeo said...

Firstly there will be no variation of any cute noise made by me. Second Cool beans. As a guy who has dated mostly only older women I never understood the problem some people have. A younger guy who is mature usually can't find a woman his age that he can relate to well over a period of time. The only problem with an older women is when (in anger) they throw your age in your face.

Webmiztris said...

awww, good for you, jali!

Rhys said...

Hooray for Jali! Love on! :)

Video said...

hmmmm...i wish i could've found more of those 6-footers you speak of! seems that since i'm tall...i have in the past been doomed to short guys. weird. it's also given me a terrible posture issue. haha.

heartinsanfrancisco said...

So glad you finally found your Marvin. He was a hard act to follow. I loved him, too, still bite my lip often over his sad ending. (Oh, weird. I had a typo that said "dad ending.")

Flip is more than 10 years younger than I, and it works well. Nobody controls anybody. So refreshing.

Adrian is a lucky man.

Lynn said...

I have a "Let's Get It On" story I might have to post one day... :)

Fairmaiden327 said...

This was your best post yet. I am happy for you.

Chanakin said...

So you're 28 and he's 18. What's the problem?

jali said...

(slapping 5) Thanks!

Remember the song, "Finally"? I'm singing it now.

I made a promise to myself to NEVER bring up age in a disagreement.


I like "love on!" I'm gonna use it.

Not all that it's cracked up to be - my ex felt that his height was proof he was better than shorter guys - Soooo not true.

You and Flip are a good example for me - no controlling is key! I think I'm the lucky one though.

Post the story!

Coming over soon to hear about the latest. I'm glad I talked about Adrian again.


mike said...

As long as you have height compatibility nothing else matters...much.

Luke Cage said...

Nicely done miss Jali. I started to say something playful and decided to keep it simple. I always love "love".. way to go miss...

Jennifer said...

Yeah, I knew that. I just thought Marvin would be mushy-romantic, based on your post.

Sort of like, a rose by any other name smelling just as sweet.

~Macarena~ said...

You're totally cool, Jali.
Girl geeks rule!

Lex said...

I remember walking to elementary school crying the morning I heard about Marvin's death on the news.

My friend's were all so upset. I remember us saying things like, "OH my God, that's like saying Michael Jackson died!" and "Yeah, this is like the presidentgetting assassinated!" We were 10 walking to school singing Sexual Healing and crying! It was a mess!

That tickles me now.