Tuesday, December 05, 2006

I'm Full of It Stuff

Yeah, yeah - I know. I'm full of "it", but this post is about the opinions of different things I'm full of. We'll talk about the other full of another day.

I'll start with commercials (I love this topic!)

The new Dunkin' Doughnuts commercial has a catchy little tune about the "foreign" words that other coffee houses use. When did "latte" become a word in English? I know that almost everyone understands what a latte is, but the word has been adopted since our obsession with coffee drinks began. When I was young the choices for coffe beverages were, black, dark, regular or light. The song asks, "is it French or is it Italian?" It's Italian.

I love the commercial for the Heissman Trophy with all the mascots racing through the city. I play a little game with myself to see how many I can recognize, and I shout them out (even if I'm alone which is kind of sad when you think about it). The one I never miss is "the Yellowjackets!". The exclamation point is there 'cause that's how I say it every time.

I still hate all the diamond commercials. "Every kiss begins with Kaye." Such bullshit. Every kiss should begin with genuine love for your dude. We are not diamond whores and don't hold out on giving affection based on holiday gifts. The Jared Jewelers commercials are even worse - we are not screaming banshee bitches who would refuse a gift because it came from the wrong store.

There's a goofy commercial for I truck that I like since it's imaginative - the truck is accidently dropped and goes through the different layers of the eart, finally ending up (and upright) in China. The center of the earth creatures are just what I imagined and will continue to believe in.

I hate the f%$*ing "priceless" cartoon for MasterCard because of the gross inaccuracy - the commercial quotes "turkey dinner with all the fixings: $55." In what magic land can a household full of people be fed for $55? It just irks me.

I'm sick of the Lexus commercials with the car outside with the big red bow and the two neighbors both hoping it's a gift for them. In my house major purchases are discussed. Period.

The Volvo commercial with the cute little girl singing irks me too. The implication that if I love my family I have to buy a Volvo is irritationg as hell. My kids love my 1989 MX6!

I don't want to see any more "Krystal Stories". This woman actually says that her coworkers "love her" because she brings them breakfast. Pretty smug aintcha? Oooh - if I want love at work I'll buy it too. Another Krystal Story is by these college dudes who try to eat 12 packs of burgers in 3 minutes. Gross! (I also am a White Castle lover and don't like these imitation burgers at all)

Taco Bell is trying to condition me to expect a "Fourth Meal". WTF???! Isn't obesity a big problem in our country? Now there's a high calorie, high carb, high fat "fourth meal" that we should expect from now on. Great.

Jared of Subway fame is annoying as hell too. We're all glad that you lost weight 10 years ago but c'mon, you're a snarky idiot and the anti McD's commercials are bullshit. I'm not McD's advocate, but their salads, low fat desserts, juices and fruit choices are a pretty good effort. You commercial claims that nothing on their menu is low fat.

Speaking of McDonalds I HATE the commercial where the guy calls his roommate to say he brought chicken sandwiches for lunch. He answers his roommate's questions about mornings like SUCH an asshole, "It's called a Jobbbbbbb..." I want to smack the black off his face. (old saying from my hood - don't be so sensitive).

I have never had and never will have a "happy period." Who makes up this shit? Bah humbug, Kotex.

The dropped calls commercials irk me too. I automatically check my phone if I can't hear the caller speaking. These folks who keep talking must be new to celly use or something.

I feel a little sorry for the 4 dorks with pastel work shirts from the various cell companies who only have each other to talk to. That's a sad life. (I hate the commercials!)

Oh, I have more.... I'll save them for another day.


Trying2BMe said...

Not that it doesn't go on every single day of the year, but "Tis the season for bull filled commercials". I hate most of them too and can so relate to the idiot factor in them.

Hugs and happy holidays :)

/t. said...

with any luck,
morons on madison ave
are tuning in to this blog...

you tell it straight!

( satan sent me ;)


Amadeo said...

I got into a debate (as a result of those jewlery commercials) about giving engagment rings back...a lawyer came in during the debate and we asked him...he said the law is different everywhere, but he knew of a case where a couple broke up two months after getting married and the bridesmaids sued for the money they spent on their dresses.

I hate, I hate, I hate that little "It's the mirrors girl" I keep hoping the elephant will go on a rampage and stomp her.

Anonymous said...

Sweet merciful crap do I hate the Kaye jewlers and Lexus commercials.

Lightning Bug's Butt said...

Jali, you're a brilliant social commentator. I love it.

As long as you keep criticizing commercials, I'll keep reading. I love to hate commercials.

C said...

That was intense commerical ranting.

awaiting said...

Those cell phone commercials (can't remember the company--shows how much I pay attention) really get on my last darn nerve. Seriously if I was on the other end and old boy kept asking, 'Can you hear me now?' I'd reach through all kinds of frequency and rip his tongue out. Then I'd shout back, 'Yeah, I can hear you, can you hear me!!?" Of course a bunch of expletives would be in order...just saying.

Miss Ann Thrope said...

as I mentioned the other day, I would pay good money to see the overstock.comlady anally raped with a lemon juicer.

that will be all.

PS: I <3 you!

Mr. Fabulous said...

Someone needs a hug LOL

Lex said...

This was great! More. More.

mist1 said...

I like the BellSouth commercial where the people say, "I have all the speed I need." That just makes me laugh and laugh. No one ever says that about speed. Ask any junkie.

djn said...

Sounds like someone's PMS'ing as severely as I am. LOL -- I loved this post. I hate all commercials that make men look like dumbasses & women look like bitches. I will turn the channel everytime -- tv or radio.

Satan said...

swing on by satans store and pick up a couple of stocking stuffers

its all about the marketing baby

CP said...

Do you suppose that Jared from Subway shops at Jared Jewelers, or is that overkill. And, if he has a fourth meal, is it at Taco Bell or subway?

Every kiss begins with a good handjob. Everyone knows that.


Rhys said...

Hell YES, you nailed it! Get thee to the advertising industry pronto!

Hee, CP!

Dirk_Star said...

I thought women loved their periods?

I thought every kiss begins with a hand up the sweater...

katrice said...

I so agree with you about that durn Jared Jewelers. Nobody cares where bling comes from!

And once a month, I am tortured by that "have a happy period" lady's voice, because it's printed on the adhesive paper. TMI, I know, but geesh!

Elaine said...

LOL! You're READ MY MIND on the jewelers bullshit. Who gives a rat's ass about you're fat ring if you're married to an idiot. I'd rather have a tin foil ring with a hot ass husband who cooks and cleans up after himself. (I actually have the hot ass and the cooking.. but the cleaning up after himself...not so much...sigh)

Angel said...

Hi Nice Blog .very possible Jewelers Point choice is available and their customers don't have to shop anywhere else. In addition, they are placing a greater emphasis on training their employees than they have in the past. The days of receiving second rate advice and service at national chain stores are becoming a thing of the past.