Monday, April 23, 2007

Copied from a Forum Stuff

This is cute.

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
cleaning up in here."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"I will knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
" Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY
"Stop crying before I give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your dinner."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room looks like a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION .
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

They did. And I turned out just like her.


EsLocura said...

Every so often (more so since moving to PR) I see little bits of my mother's traits in me, sometimes it's funny, other times it gives me the creeps.

Matt said...

LOL. Fall out of the hammock and break your neck, you're definately NOT going to the store with me.

Steph said...

We must have the same mother because she taught me all of that too :P

Luke Cage said...

LOL! These were too cool miss Jali. I stickyfingered them and sent them out in an e-mail a few minutes ago. Too fly luv!

Amadeo said...

Makes me think of that line from "The Great White Hype"..."Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and I'll give you something to cry about."

~d said...

There are a couple of emails that when they went around the first time...I laughed, haha, and then forgot abt them. I will be PRINTING this one! I effin LOVE it!
(and I love you, too!)

Christina_the_wench said...

OMG those are hilarious. And so true. We came from the same mom I believe.

heartinsanfrancisco said...

You're my long-lost sister. I always knew you were out there somewhere.

And she always said those things as if she was just making them up right then, remember?

She taught us about bad ham acting, too.

So funny. Big guffaws here.

Elaine said...

its scary how I'm becoming more and more like my mother everyday. But my mommy is brilliant so its okay. :D

C said...

The osmosis one is really familiar.

Bugwit said...

What's shakin, bacon? Parents are great sources of cliche, ain't they?

Even when I was 8, I knew that leaving the door open in Summer could NEVER cool the whole state of Oklahoma.

Lex said...

#25 if why I'm afraid to procreate!!

Carla said...

Classic! Thanks for the chuckles.

restaurant gal said...

OMG. # 24 and #25--I have said this to my own beautiful babies--and they are the best kids a mom can have!!!

-- The Gal

Winters said...

I love these.

I can hear the mum saying them all!

it's the little things... said...

7. My mother taught me IRONY
"Stop crying before I give you something to cry about."

Oh, how I loathed this one. It made no sense to me whatsoever!

Liz said...

I definitely got plenty of these said to me...and I've said at least half of them to my sons. LOL!

miss tracey nolan said...

THis is sweet. I'm going to call my Mom today.