Thursday, April 05, 2007

New Phase Stuff

I didn't write about this when it happened. I wasn't ready to discuss it then - I am now.

My relationship with Adrian has changed. We are no longer a couple. He and I remain roommates and I consider him to be one of my best friends. The age difference is insurmountable. Adrian hasn't experienced the joys of fatherhood yet. My children are big and there is NO possibility that I would ever have another child. He is one of the greatest people I know and I'm positive that he will be an excellent parent.
He deserves a relationship that is better for him overall. I've never loved anyone the way I love A - I've been married, lived with other people - there's no one who can compare to him.

No more on the subject.

33 comments:

Luke Cage said...

Dayum J.

Webmiztris said...

Bummer. :(

Elaine said...

Sorry to hear Jali. Hope you and him are doing alright. Best wishes to both of you.

Matt said...

That's so sad, Jalil. A similar thing happened once on Little House On The Prairie when "Doc" decided to let his beautiful, young girlfriend go and find a younger man--breaking both of their hearts.

Lex said...

I'm so sorry, Jali. Damn.

mist1 said...

Wanna meet for single girl cocktail hour?

girl and dog said...

Wow, very brave and giving on your part.

EsLocura said...

Strong good women, are honest women, even when it hurts.

Fairmaiden327 said...

You will be OK. I am a great listener. You have my number. Stay strong.

~Macarena~ said...

Aw, Jali.

It's good that you're not mangling yourself to try to hold on to him, and your concision and explanation is superb.

Kav said...

Holy crap Jali. What a tough situation. I wish you all the best with it. You're a brave person.

Steph said...

Oh jali. I'm so sorry. ((big hugs))

djn said...

jali, I'm so sorry. That's really rough. I find you to be brave agreeing to remain roommates -- I don't think I could do that. But it sounds like your mutual respect for each other is something most people could never accomplish in your situation so (for me) this is admirable. Wishing you the very best!! You deserve some good stuff too, ya know...

Amadeo said...

"No matter how long we exist, we have our memories. Points in time which time itself cannot erase. Suffering may distort my backward glances, but even to suffering, some memories will yield nothing of their beauty or splendor. Rather, they remain as hard as gems."

Cece said...

Wow, I'm sorry. Life is crazy~~ the way it turns upside down and the where it brings you. Be strong and congrats on stciking to your convictions and making tough decisions.

katrice said...

Aw, Jali... I admire your clarity. You're an awesome woman. This turning of the tide, though painful, may signal something wonderful on the horizon.

But for now, I know it hurts. I'm sorry.

Superstar said...

I know that in reverse. A few years back I dated a guy for 2 years. He did not want kids. A revelation he had in our last 6 months of the relationship. I have ALWAYS wanted to have kids...Of course a few years older...I am begining to question that idea...Anyway, I do know that While love may "conquer" all. Life choices, especially ones that you or apartner might regret...is the hardest break up of all.

Its as though, that person says that they love you so much, that your happiness means more than the immediate desires...
That is how I got through it...
[[huggs]]

C said...

I am the same way with things that happen - it takes me a while to be able to discuss them verbally or in writing.

You are a good person to think of his needs too. Sometimes we have to let others experience things we had a chance to enjoy or suffer.

You are in my thoughts.

restaurant gal said...

You are one heck of an unselfish gal.

miss tracey nolan said...

Good for you. He's got a great friend in you, lady!

Trying2BMe said...

Don't know if this will help at all, but...

It's better to love someone completely for a limited time than to never risk your heart at all. And loving someone to the point of letting them go, shows just how deeply you did.

Good luck, all my love to ya.

jali said...

Hi All,

I'm touched by your concern and the love and support you have shown me.

Love you guys!

jali

heartinsanfrancisco said...

Sending warm hugs and reassurances that it will get better, and you will feel whole again.

You are a spectacular woman, Jali.

Little Lamb said...

You are a character. Something happebed in your life, you're ready to discuss it and you discuss it, and then BAM!!!! You won't discuss it anymore. What fun is that?

awaiting said...

Sorry to hear about this, but for what its worth I can completely understand.

Much love to you, Jali.

it's the little things... said...

Hi there
I picked a sad posting day to be new to the blog, but wish you the best on what looks like a big and difficult transition.
Since I read back a few postings, I was going to say something about a LI Iced Tea, but thought it wouldn't be appropriate, being new and all.

Dallas DYSfunction said...

I often read but am comment defficient..Hugs. Stay strong and if you're back in big D...I'll make sure we drink the blues away

Dirk_Star said...

Winter seems to be ending so hard for so many of us.

I am sad for the separation.

Stay friends...

dirk.mancuso said...

Jali, I've been in a similar position and I know how hard it is to let go of a relationship even though you know that in the long run it is better for the other person.

My heart aches for you right now. Take care of you.

Big hug,

Dirk

Rhys said...

Hang in there, sweetie. If it's any consolation at all, I know how you feel. So much. Hey, his life is so much richer for you being in it, in any capacity that works, and what else is that but love?

Don't forget the happiness you deserve, too.

~d said...

WOw.
thank you for sharing.

Miss Ann Thrope said...

I never know what to say about these things. Take care of yourself, ok?

Anonymous said...

Jello,

I am 3,000 miles away, but I AM HERE - for you. I don't have my own words to make you feel better (there aren't any, are there?), so I will "sing our song" for you - "Sisters,sisters, never were there such devoted sisters...."

Love,

The One Who Looks A Lot Like You - But Younger - With More Grey Hair...