Monday, June 18, 2007

Weekend Stuff

Oh, the exciting life I live!

I think most people look forward to the weekend so that they can attend fabulous parties, do cool stuff I've never heard of, and generally just have a ball beginning Friday night and lasting until the late hours on Sunday.

I, on the other hand, leave work on Friday evening smiling, ever hopeful that I'll be a part of the weekend fun, but knowing that since I have nothing planned, the chances for excitement are slim to none.

Slim to none. Damn.

I imagine myself a party chick, a fun person - maybe even one of the cool kids.


On Friday, immediately after work, I went to the first meeting of the Science Fiction Book Club that I started. There were five of us there discussing the book, Starship Troopers, by Robert Heinlein. We talked for about two hours and parted, secure that every single point made in the novel was discussed repeatedly from every angle. I only drank sweet tea (unlike others and you know who you are!) so I can't blame gin for my geekiness this time. I guess I just love gatherings like this with other sci-fi lovers. (Anyone is welcome to join - send me an email.)

After an exciting ride home on public transportation I began my Friday evening ritual: I turned on the TV and watched crap until Adrian got home from work and took over posession of the remote so that he could righteously take over the control of the crap we watched until I went to bed.

Saturday morning held the promise of possible excitement and I suppose fighting for a dryer at the laundromat might be considered excitement by some. I get pissed when people wash their clothing elsewhere, and try to grab up all the dryers so that we suckers with clothes in the wash get stuck waiting in the non airconditioned space for a lot longer than needed. I'll admit it: I'm a snitch sometimes. I asked the attendendant to limit the dryers the "washed my shit elsewhere" lady could use and she was pissed with me. Pissed probably doesn't really cover it. The young chippie threw me a few looks of death and mumbled under her breath, but I stood firm in my righteousness and used the very dryer she had her cold little heart set on. Ha!

After all the excitement (cue crickets) it was time to take my 15 year old son to get his weekly braids. He uses a different hairstylist or salon every week, so I never know where we need to go and how much the braids will cost me. He likes to surprise his old mom, not with gifts, but with situations. He was the kid who would tell me in the car, on the way to school that he needed exactly $3.27 (no checks) in a legal envelope that very morning so that he could go on the trip with his class, "it's the last day, Mommy!".

This week, my wonderful (dripping with sarcasm) ex-husband decided to put his spin on things so that I learned AFTER I drove to his house and waited in the Atlanta heat and humidity for days it seemed, that in celebration of Father's Day, he would be taking our child to the hairdresser although my participation in payment was still required. He'd call me later to let me know.

Hot and annoyed I decided to stop for gas on the way home. There were lines since the price for regular was only $2.89. I finally made it close to a pump - the guy in front of me had a mid-sized car, so I didn't anticipate a long wait.


Dude decided to wash his windows with the convenient squeegie and the free inky water (that's NEVER changed) at the side of the pump. Usually it's cool, since it takes time to fill up a tank. The only problem was that dude wasn't gassing up. He was window washing. Yup - On one of the hottest, sweatiest days of the year, this fine young cannibal decides to wash his windows KNOWING that there was a long line of hot and sweaty people waiting to buy gas.

Once he finished his car hygeine he begins his STROLL to the convenience store and cash register.

After a wait that seemed like forever, he finally returned to his car (that I was beginning to think he abandoned) with a 64 ounce fountain soda and what looked like nachos. He spend a ridiculous amount of time placing his food and drink in the car then sidled over to the actual pump and finally started filling his tank.

As he pulled out I beeped my horn and stuck out my tongue. He pulled around the pump area and into a regular parking space in front of the store. He strolled back over to me and asked, truly mystified, why I stuck out my tongue. Clueless isn't just a movie.

I explained that watching the car wash ritual and then waiting for someone in the brutal Georgia heat wasn't as much fun as it sounded.

He was truly apologetic and offered to take me out as a peace offering. Since he was humble, cute and available...

Did you guys think I'd go out with a selfish dude like that? (those of you who are saying, "begger can't be choosers", need to quit!)

Of course I declined. For someone with no other offers on the horizon, I just may have blown a good thing, but insensitivity and lack of empathy aren't really that high on my list of qualities in a man.

I was pleasantly surprised that the braids were a mere $25 this week and that my son was actually ready to leave for home by the time I arrived. Since it was "defer to him, shut up and just be nice" weekend (Father's Day) I dropped Jack off with his dad and went on to explore bigger and better things.

(Adrian left the house early that morning to help a co-worker with his fledging landscaping business. This guy worked every Saturday for a couple of hours and needed a
little extra help
and offered Adrian $60 or $70 to go with him. He neglected to share some pretty pertinent information with Adrian. He was doing a new Senior's complex and anticipated the work to last the whole day. $60 to work in the sweltering heat for a whole day isn't cool.)

I had an afternoon of unlimited opportunities ahead of me so I went home and watched more crap on TV.

I sent Adrian encouraging texts during commercials like "don't be a doo-doo head" and "I forbid you to sweat" to help his torturous ordeal pass more quickly. (He calls me annoying for very legitimate reasons).

Adrian has a very light complexion, and was a brighter red than "Larry the Lobster" when he got home that night. Adrian was pissed and we spent most of the evening cursing the demon that spawned his coworker who paid Adrian a measly $70 for more than 12 hours of hard labor in the hot sun.

Following that special brand of excitement I went to bed and slept restlessly until my Tylenol PMs kicked in. I take the Tylenol so that my bad dreams last quite a bit longer than necessary.

Sunday was so eventful that the day passed by in a blur. Grocery shopping and hair washing were the main two fun activites of the day.

Last night as a special treat, A and I went to Blockbuster to return tapes and pick up a few. Of course none of the recent releases were available, so we picked the best of the worst (after Adrian checked EVERY SINGLE FUCKING TITLE in the store).

We watched the beginning of a truly awful film and decided to just quit and go to bed.

How was your weekend?


awaiting said...

Dang girl. You should come to Arkansas and help me fight off the crazies. Yeah, that should add excitement to your weekend...not.

I can always send BC to you, she needs a place to live.

*evil laughter*

mist1 said...

I don't remember nearly as much of my weekend as you do of yours.

Cece said...

I, for one, think you are being way to hard on the pump guy. Sometimes we are too busy in our own heads totally clueless as to what is happening around us, but when you realize it you feel like an ass. From now on go out with every guy who asks. Even if it sucks you:
A. Have something to write about
B. You get a free meal

And no it's not desperate and I don't mean every but like 90% Trust me, I may not know spanish but I know dating ;-)

As for my weekend it was a blur of drinking, spending WAY too much money on food ($82 dollars on Chinese Food!!!) and having stoop picnics with the neighbors. Ton's o fun!

Trying2BMe said...

Sorry the weekend wasn't all fireworks and fruity drinks, but next weekend will be better... TRUST ME!!!

As for the windshield washer... prick! Some folks are just assholes and then think a free meal can fix it all. Personally, I don't think even lobster can't turn an asshole into a rose.

Anne said...

I love how you can look at things like that with a sense of humor.

Does Tylenol PM give you nightmares? I thought it was just me.

~Macarena~ said...

I just may have blown a good thing
No way! I find cluelessness more worrisome than a lack of empathy. I understand not caring how people feel, but not thinking about it is a large obstacle. Maybe you should have sent him to help Adrian - wait! Was he Adrian's friend? Why didn't A just say no when he found out what the deal was? Why didn't he buy some sunblock?

Mr. Brimstone-green Track Suit shouldn't be calling you anything less than "milady" when you take time out to text him. He has the option of turning off the doodad. Is he not as annoying as he sounds, or why do you hang with him?

Elaine said...

I read your entire post but the whole time, I kept getting distracted by the fact that you belong to a Science Fiction Book Club.
Can i tell you how awesomely quirky and funny I think that is? I'm not a fan of science fiction but I would love to sit in on one of those discussions!

EsLocura said...

I spent the weekend power washing the wall that surrounds part of my property and painting, yes, I know, your jealous. As for the stupid guy, no one that clueless is worth a second look.

Kiyotoe said...

you have to admit though, coming back and offering to take you out was kinda smooth.

But he was a dick for taking that long probably on purpose. Only in the dirty dirty.

Luke Cage said...

Ahhh, you need no further details on my weekend as I so eloquently put it out on my blog yesterday. But I loved the details in yours from beginning to the end.

One thing I did forget to mention was that during my grazing in the house weekend I watched 4 movies! from Blockbuster; Ghost Rider - Find me Guilty - The Messengers & Good Will Hunting. The Messengers was a little weak, but the other ones rocked!

Webmiztris said...

what was the truly awful film? Brown Bunny? because trust me, that one is the WORST!

"clueless isn't just a movie"....lmfao!

melanie said...

thursday I broke up with somene. So, I got drunk on Friday night, and found out some things about that someone I had broken up with, while posing as an alias.

Saturday, hungover, i didn't move to far from the kitchen or the couch, except to go to a friends and cook burgers and drink more. got home to a friend on line with a surprise for me, so that was WAY cool.

Sunday? i went to hang out in nature by the river, cuz i was feeling so alone, i need to be humbled a tad. and totally peaceful. The weather here was excellent all weekend long.

decided my life is a soap opera. maybe i should write about it.

Amadeo said...

My weekend was short...but I did rock the 1.3 mile run all the way...2.6 in a couple weeks! I did get a good post out of the weekend.

heartinsanfrancisco said...

The guy at the pump is a creep and damn lucky you only stuck out your tongue. A lesser (or better equipped) person would have shot him. Justifiable homicide.

I realized that my birthday is one week away, and got a leg up on my yearly schizophrenia. I love my birthday, but it also depresses me.

Flip always asks what I want and I say, "Everything."

I never get it.

Captain Smack said...

Now, hold on a second. About the guy at the pump. I get really bothered by people who walk around like they are in zombie land, completely oblivious to everyone and everything around them. Believe me, it's my main problem with humans.

But we all do that occasionally (not me personally), and I have to say... it's quite rare that a person will fess up so quick and admit that they suck. I think that was a pretty cool shot at redemption on his part, and even outweighs the original crime. That's special.

Remember: Guys are dogs. We are stupid, but can be trained. Next time this happens, Jali, whack him upside the head with a newspaper and take him home. Throw him a bone. I'm sure he'd be more than happy to throw one back.

Lightning Bug's Butt said...

You get a lot of mileage out of your weekends.

You drop $100 per month on your son's hair?

Sweet mom.

restaurant gal said...

This is one of my favorite posts by you. Oh, as for my weekend--it sucked. But it's Wednesday, now, so who cares?

it's the little things... said...

No wonder I like you. Being kind of unemployed right now, your weekend sounds like most of my every days. Mundane stuff!
At least you had a bookclub meeting to engage your interests. My poetry club seems to be taking a break this month.

Anonymous said...





girlanddog said...

HAHA! I once waited in line for a girl who cleaned EVERY. SINGLE. WINDOW. of her car at the gas station. Redneck carwash, anyone?

Steph said...

If it's any consolation, the past three weeks I've sat at home and picked the fluff out of my belly button.
I do acrue a lot of fluff in there!

Lex said...

I think if I spelled my weekend out like you have here, I'd have something comparably glorious.

The thing is, I love doing absolutely nothing.

Rhys said...

Even your 'boring' weekends are exciting! Look at you, getting hit on all about town! You're right, you're way to good for that guy.