This is a story from Adrian's past.
Years back, Adrian drank liquor and smoked weed like crazy (long, long, long time ago folks, long time ago) (anyone get the parahrased quote* here?)
Adrian came in pretty drunk from partying one night and decided he needed to have something to eat to sober up a little. He raided the refrigerator and apparently made quite a bit of noise in doing so. He finally got things put away and was heading to the table to sit down and eat when something startled him and he dropped the plate making a big mess on the kitchen floor.
His mother, awakened by all the noise in the kitchen was pretty angry with poor Adrian. She yelled a bit - all kinds of stuff about irresponsibilty and drunkenness as our hero began cleaning up the mess.
Understand that Adrian drunk is slow-motion man with exaggerated movements.
His mom finally had her say and started to turn to go back upstairs.
Adrian took this opportunity to shoot his mom the bird behind her back.
Mom wasn't quite finished and turned back to say something more and was shocked to see her sweet baby giving her the finger.
Sweet baby (moving in slow motion) wasn't able to pull out of the move and squatted there, middle finger up in the air.
He said both of them froze in position. He could hear the kitchen clock ticking, but he was unable to do or say anything.
His mom grabbed the mop and bopped him on the side of the head, turned and went to bed.
The end. (well, not really - the story comes up EVERY time he calls his mom.)
* quote from Bernie Mac during the Kings of Comedy Tour.
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12 comments:
I did the same thing to my aunt on Christmas Eve...but she always teased people so my mother wasn't mad at me.
My mom use to straight up slap my face all the time. I think I deserved it too.
HAHA!
One day ~d was ticked off at the things. ~d shot the bird at the things when they turned to leave the room. the husband was like: ~d! what are you doing?! ~d was like, you KNOW da$* good and well they will be doing that to me in a few years!
*whatever!
~d heart Jali!
Ha! Too funny. Does mom think it's funny now?
That mommy leaves me in stitches.
Man-oh-man. Did mom represent or what? I wonder how the humor extends today miss Jali?
Perfect. Love that mom...
"Shooting Birds in Slow Motion" could be the name of a book which, of course, is made into a movie.
Chris Rock would play Adrian.
I don't bop people on the head. I don't have a mop.
long...long, long, long, longtimeago...(haha) my hubby came home late (like 3:00 am late) and saw that I was awaking cooking Top Ramen. He wondered what I was doing before I went off on him about coming home late, not calling, blah blah. I later told him that I was up cooking Top Ramen with every intention to throw it at him. I opted for my flip flop instead, gets the point across sans the third degree burns.
amadeo
How old were you?
nolff
I heard you were into the pain thing.
d,
I'm glad poor the little things didn't see you. They might start the bird thing early.
candace,
That's what I said.
lex,
She laughs about it now.
matt,
I can just imagine her swinging the mop.
luke,
Mom did her thang!
restaurant gal,
Me too!
hearts,
Chris Rock would be PERFECT. He doesn't look like A, but he's almost as funny.
mist,
Making note for future birthday gift.
'laine,
Remember Al Green and the grits? Your hubby might have had 1st degree ramen burns.
dirk,
I want to hear the story. will be checking for it. Can Mamma Mancuso do a guest post?
While nothing beats the too-green track suit (which needs dark green Pumas to match), a few more of these and you can compile them into a screenplay. But please, not Chris Rock. I can't stand his voice. Only Chris Tucker is worse.
I LOVE The Original Kings of Comedy. When did Bernie Mac lose his edge?
What startled Adrian? Did he ever get a snack?
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