Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Retread Stuff

Hassan the Determined
Brooke the Beautiful (my eldest)

I'm pulling out all the old stories, since things are slow and because I think my kids and my grands are funny as hell. I was having a conversation with my grandson Hassan when he was about 3. We were talking about friendship and I told him that I would always be his friend. He answered, "Grandma, you KNOW you're my boy!"

When my daughter Dalerie was about 3 or 4 years old she decided to have a full fledged tantrum at the mall. She fell to the floor and started thrashing her limbs and screaming at the top of her lungs. The crowd seemed to pause mid sentence - and mid step to see how I would handle this out of control child. I threw down my bags and dropped to the floor, kicking my legs and waving my arms. I shouted, "this baby is driving me crazy!". Dalerie was embarrased as hell. She jumped up, offered me her hand and said politely, "come on Mommy." It dawned on her that her Mommy was a force to be reckoned with. She never tried that shit again.

My daughter, Brooke tells this story, (probably a big fat lie) about me in Pathmark back in 1994 or so. My children have claimed that grocery shopping with me was an embarrassment because I bought so many "no frills" items at the time. They would hate to run into any of their friends at the store who would laugh at the "If you like 'Cheetos', try me" labels on the bag of corn chips that I chose for economy.

I supposedly asked my child to go get me a bag of onions and then took my place in the check out line. Child took a long time to make it back to me with the produce, and I asked her what happened. Her deadpan reply, "I couldn't find the 'no frills' onions." She and her sister, the beautiful Dalerie thought this was hilarious.

21 comments:

Christina_the_wench said...

Hey thrifty get you a college fund if you're blessed later on in life.

Any I ADORE how you handled Dalerie's temper tantrum. Classic.

~d said...

hanging...
your kids are sweet!

xxoo
!

I will be back, more to tell you!

fringes said...

Great photos. Is this the first time I've been here? If so, my apologies. Thanks for coming around to my space. Hassan is a cutie!

mist1 said...

I use no frills toilet paper. I want people to crap at home.

Webmiztris said...

ha! that IS hilarious!

I especially like the tantrum idea. that took some guts, lady!!

Trying2BMe said...

Wonderful stories! I had to laugh about the "no frills" myself.

Don't you just love the way you can pull them out, shake them open and wrap up in them like a warm blanket?

Amadeo said...

Takes me back to shopping with my mother she was always a very creative person when it came to problem solving...like getting us to eat squash by saying it's his little brother squish.

Elaine said...

That is a great way to deal with the tantrum. I've already jotted that down for when my little girl has an episode...because like you, mommy has no shame, I will out tantrum her everytime! hahahaa!

Oh I'm so with you on the no frills, except for sliced cheese. For some reason, I have to buy the brand name sliced cheese...the rest taste like slivers of oil.

jali said...

christine,
I'm a strange mem.

~d,
Tell me!!!

fringes,
I found you in the mist. (tee-hee - wasn't that creative?)

dawn,
It was actually kinda fun. (embarrassing children is my JOB)

trying2,
I love reminiscing (I can't spell) - the point of the fun is to make a great memory.

amadeo,
Your mom sounds pretty cool. I love the little squish idea.

elaine,
I must have Folger's coffee and Gain detergent - everything else can be no frills. I eat the oily cheap cheese - yum!

jali said...

christine,

I'm a strange mOm who can't spell.

Lex said...

Your fam is gorgeous! I love these stories. That is exactly something my mom would have done (the tantrum fixer).

~Macarena~ said...

"[Y]ou're my boy" is high-larious!

"Dalerie" is a great name. Steve Winwood wishes he'd thought of it.

My mom would have handled a homebound tantrum in similar fashion, but by merely mimicking rather than acting one out herself. My unruly siblings never acted out in public.

Pig and Taz said...

Ooooh! Our first time here! We're Jalihouse virgins!

*gets all excited*

Well, first of all we have to say that we thought we'd stumbled across Whoopi Goldberg's blog! You must surely realise how much of a resemblance there is? (you're much, much prettier, of course).

We spotted Awaiting here too (isn't that fat arse just everywhere?). She's pretty too, of course - but nowhere near as pretty as our new fave, Jali.

Awaiting darling, I'll be sure to photoshop a few of your pics so that you have some decent pics to post. Oh what the heck, it's 2007, so I might as well be charitable and slim some of that arse off for you. Aint I kind?

Anyway (fave word)... I quite like some of the 'no frills' stuff - over here in the UK, it's quite often exactly the same stuff thats in the full price cans (baked beans being an example), so there's no shame in buying them.

Besides, economising mothers are fantastic mothers. It shows they're caring enough to make sure there's food on the table for the kids all week, even when on a limited budget.

Unlike Awaiting, who spends all her money on vodka, while the kids eat 'no frills' cornflakes all week. Poor little fuckers.

There. I've been nice now. Can I go back to normal nasty me?

Oh, and Hello Sweetpea! We like you! and thanks for signing up over at our place!

It's so nice for us to have a better class of woman visiting us at long last.

*waves a trotter at Awaiting on the way out*

Kiyotoe said...

this reminds me of my days grocery shopping with My Renee (my mom) as a kid. We were never, ever, never, EVER allowed to get the REAL cereal.

Instead of froot loops, it was fruit rings, instead of lucky charms it was KaBooms.

And yet, when it came down to buying her favorite potato chips it had to be Wise Barbecue and nothing less.

Is that fair?

By the way, i just happened to be in a quaint little coffee house and heard a poem about love. The end went something like: "go...go....go....Super Bowl!"

I enjoyed it, and just wanted to let you know.

awaiting said...

I am all out GENERIC baby!

Tylenol? Give me Bylenol.

Cheetos? Give me Neetos.

Coca Cola? Give me Boca Bola.

I don't care...I'm on a budget here, peeps!

Such a BEAUTIFUL FAMILY!!! They must get it from MAMA!

awaiting said...

Sorry to jack your spot, Jali...but never mind that Piggy dude. He is off his medication and they only let him out once a month for computer time.

I'll inform the hospital to up his meds.

Pig and Taz said...

Whilst ordering your own next batch, eh Awa?

Winters said...

Great pictures, great stories. I would have liked to witness your tantrum in the mall!
Great strategy, though...

jali said...

lexi,
Thank you! I'd love to hear some stories about your mom.

macarena,
I laughed until I cried. He was sooo serious.

pig and taz,
Thank you for the much much prettier" than Ms. Goldberg. That chick took my place in life. I should have all the money! Leave beautiful awaiting alone dudes! We promised not to discuss the vodka incident online so hush!

kiyotoe,
I'm all excited that you were at the show last night! Did you perform as well? Another blogger was there too - I'll check out your page today.

awaiting,
You had me at, "your family is beautiful..." the "they get it from their mom" just made my day!

winters,
I'm glad there were no camera phones in those days: I'd be on mytube or in a psyche ward for an evaluation.

heartinsanfrancisco said...

Your daughter is gorgeous, and looks like you. And Hassan is darling, too.

Thank you for the lovely image of the mother-and-child tantrums. I wish I'd thought of that trick back in the day. It would have come in handy.

Brooke was right. It's nearly impossible to find generic fresh produce. I don't like no frills because the packaging is so plain. I'll buy anything if it's in a pretty package. I am the sucker they hire product artists for.

jali said...

hearts,
Thank you for the beautiful compliments! I love the word gorgeous!