Thursday, August 03, 2006

Annoying Stuff

2 Annoyances:

1. Imagine yourself in line at the grocery store on a Saturday afternoon at about 4p.m.

It's crowded, your last nerve was plucked by that woman who refused to tell her children to stop harassing other shoppers. You finally make it to the express lane with your six little items and you breathe a sigh of relief. Home, a nice dinner and a cool drink await you.

You can see the target way ahead of you. The cashier is working quickly and efficiently. The people at the front of the line are smiling and happy - they're steadily moving toward their goal: the register.

You don't move one inch. Imagine your feelings. How can this be?

The person ahead of you has decided to leave a FIVE FOOT GAP between their shopping cart and the person ahead of them. Sneaky shoppers are jumping ahead of the person ahead of you and going straight to the checkout. The person ahead of you makes NO EFFORT TO CLOSE THE GAP so all the people behind her suffer.

I've never seen this in a grocery store. I used the situation to get to my point - I wanted you guys to feel my pain.

Every single day in the beautiful city of Atlanta, Georgia (Joe-gia) this situation occurs, but it occurs where it causes me much more irritation than it would in a supermarket.

It happens in the far left lane of I75/85 known as "The Connector", the portion of the interstate system that passes through Midtown Atlanta.

Certain drivers fight their way to get into the fast lane. They swoop ahead of the pack back in the 'burbs to guarantee their place at the head of the line when congestion sets in.

Once the roads are crowded, the same driver, Mr. Emperor of The World decides that a more leisurely ride is desired and leaves a gap large enough for tractor trailer or two to pull into. He has to work hard to maintain the gap, suddenly breaking to stop the flow of traffic if it seems that the left lane might be keeping up with the lanes to his right. He will only increase his speed if a car from his own lane dares to try to pass him on the right.

"Hell naw!" He says to himself. "There will be none of that today. Get back in line." Allowing a car from behind him to gain the upper hand and actually keep up with the flow of traffic is not part of his agenda. His Emperor of the World status might be jeopardized if he allowed even one car from the left lane to continue on it's way and make it to work at a reasonable time. Arrrrrgh!

2. I love to share a nice meal in good company. Most of my buddies are pretty cool people and we split the bill with no argument, drop a great tip and go home happy.

There's a newer member to our crowd who is a cheap ass. He once actually gave the bartender a $5 bill and a quarter for a $5.25 beer. We were shocked. The bartender was shocked. The other patrons in the vicinity were shocked. (we were a bunch of shocked people, huh?) This led to whispered conversations around the bar and we remembered other instances where he showed his true colors.

We would split a dinner check and he would drop exactly $14.95 or whatever the cost of his entree might have been onto the pile of cash. He would need to run to the bathroom or go out to smoke right at that moment and the rest of us would total the payment and add the appropriate tip. We figured he was just in too much of a rush at the time and that it was just an oversight. No oversight - cheap ass.


Jennifer said...

You've nailed two of my biggest pet peeves in the world, right here. I face #1 every work day morning, the big creeps trying to merge into the turn lane at the LAST POSSIBLE SECOND, holding up two lanes of traffic in the process. Why don't they realize that the reason we're all sitting there NOT MOVING is because OF THEM AND THEIR KIND!? Annoys the snot out of me.

I used to say everyone should be required to work in some capacity in the restaurant industry for at least a short amount of time. Not leaving tips for someone who works what is really hard labor, usually for $2.85 and hour, is unconscionable.

Christina_the_wench said...

I can sooooo get behind peeve #1. I275 and I96 in Michigan - four lanes branch to two lanes each. DUMBASSES let people in all the time at the last minute. DID THEY NOT SEE THE SIGN 2 MILES BACK SAYING IT WAS SPLITTING? Leave no gap. Fuck 'em. I speed up to NOT allow them to merge late. A local talk radio station discussed this awhile back and had some airhead trying to rationalize why it is ok to merge at the last minute. I got so mad I turned the radio off. Grrr..

Mike said...

I'm thinking this cheap-ass friend needs to starting dining and drinking alone in the future, huh?

Miss Ann Thrope said...

#1. yep.

#2. I freaking HATE, hate, HATE cheapskates. HATETHEM.

heartinsanfrancisco said...

Too many people believe that God made the breakdown lane solely for their private convenience. They whiz by on the far right while the rest of us lowly peons inch forward for miles, then expect the Red Sea to part for them so they can beat us all to the toll booth. Show a little respect, you pigs.

The high roller needs to be educated or shunned. Food service employees make less than minimum wage and DEPEND on tips to survive. I'm with Jennifer --It IS unconscionable to stiff them if one has the means to eat out.

Webmiztris said...

I'm shocked too! not only at the lack of tipping, which is total BS in my book, but also at the price of a beer down there. $5.25? damn, we pay 1/2 that here!

I have an old friend I met up with a year or two ago. We went out to dinner together. I told her I'd pay for her meal and I said, "how about you just cover the tip?" She says, "I don't leave tips." huh? cheap bitch!

Fairmaiden327 said...

I am loving this site. Must.continue.reading.

Rev. Smokin Steve said...

First of all, it's usually the tractor trailers that leave those gaps. I have taken advantage of many a gap in my day through knowing that.

Secondly, it makes me remember the guy who once went out to dinner with us, got a $5 appetizer and water to drink, then tried to get change for a dollar to leave a tip. He was going to leave 75 cents or something like that.

He nver got invited to dinner again. It's one thing to get something small and inexpensive. That is not the problem. But would it have hurt him to leave the whole dollar?

Blonde Vigilante said...

There is nothing worse than a cheap bastard. They always leave you stuck explaining something to somebody. Or, worse..they make you look like a cheap ass. Unexceptable.

jali said...

I tried to find my Zen place this morning, but this driver really pissed me off and I started my workday with an attitude.
I don't understand people who look for reasons not to tip well.

I would have turned it off too. Stupido!

I won't hang out with him again - too embarrassing.

Missy (mat),
The cheapskates will get their's someday.

He needs to go to Wendy's drive through exclusively.

This precious beer was purchased in the Atlanta suburb of Riverdale.

Love your site too! Thank you,

Another idiot. I would shun him too.

jali said...

Don't you hate supplementing somone else's cheap tip? Arrrgh.

Byron said...

Jali, is it?

Why would you like me to "KEEP MY HANDS OFF YOUR HOUSE"?

I don't understand.

If there is a meaning behind your comment, I've missed it.

theothermichelle said...

Hi Jali,

Mr. Emperor of The World is alive and well in PA too. I saw him last week. Leaves a big gap and speeds up when you try to pass on the right? Yep, that was him alright.

I agree with Mike on Mr. Cheap Ass. He's a big boy and should know better. Did he actually fish through his pockets for that one quarter? Oh Jeez...

Trebuchet said...

I HATE REMOTE CLICKERS!! Had an ex boyfriend who constantly changed the channel. He never actually watched ANYthing. I'm going to write about this. I think a blood vessel in my head just exploded, just thinking about it.


dirk.mancuso said...

Damn, that new member of your clique is cheaper than me and I am cheap -- but I still leave a good tip.

jali said...


Yes, Jali it is.
My "House" is my cranky boyfriend Greg who's TV show is the best thing on the lineup.

I guess the joke is corny if it needs to be explained. I found your page clicking links on Steph's page. Did I piss you off?

jali said...

You're the main Michelle to me. I held the elevator for another Emporer of the World. The dude got in, pressed his button and didn't say a worfd. I guess it was my job that day to hold it for him.

I'll check out your page a little later to hear your story. "A" will change the channel right at all the good parts - he just can't help himself.

I'll order a cheaper entree to make sure I can tip well enough.
I got nothin' but love for you baby (old school rap), and so far, you can do no wrong in my eyes so stop with the self depriciation stuff! Is it cool to have a Dirk crush, at least for a little while?