Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Part 2 Stuff

I call this part 2, although it has NOTHING at all to do with the redundancy theme of the other post for today. Zero. Nada. Zilch. (wasn't that redundant?)

More gripes from the bad mood biddy:

Stop stalking the closest parking space at the health club. Isn't the whole point to work out? WALK the extra 30 feet.

YOU dialing a wrong number is not MY fault. (something very similar on a great blog yesterday - sorry, you excellent writer - I don't have your address at hand.)

Why does the smoke from my 1 cigarette bother you more than the toxic fumes of the traffic during rush hour? You're standing at the bus stop inhaling all that gunk but my ciggie makes you do the phony cough thing.

Why must the people who are late for the (movie/play/concert) always be the ones (with cell phone ringers on/who talk throughout the show/who have to get right back up and disturb us again)?

I saw a gentleman in a ARMED security uniform filling up his SUV. He had permanent handicapped plates.

Speaking of handicapped - if you're able bodied and have grandfathered those plates - or if you park in a handicapped space I hope Karma grants your wish.

I usually say no, but it would be nice if you OFFERED to buy gas.

Mothers don't look good in designer clothes if their child's too tight undershirt looks like it was washed with a teabag.

Stop bringing infants and toddlers to adult movies - Get a babysitter or stay home!

"Gimme a call" is not a clear telephone message. Tell me the reason so I can prioritize my callbacks.

Why do some people call their spouses at work 3 or 4 times per day everyday?
'Hi Honey, whatcha doing?"
"Okay, I love you baby."

'Hi Honey, whatcha doing?"
"Okay, I love you baby."

'Hi Honey, whatcha doing?"
"Okay, I love you baby."

'Hi Honey, whatcha doing?"
"Okay, I love you baby."

When did Jack Bauer pee? I know it's fiction, but they tried to make everything seem so real on the timeline - didn't he have to pee at least once in 24 hours?

Feeling a little better, my lovelies. Ranting is good!


Mike said...

Hell...this stuff makes sense to me...and I'm in a good mood.

Superstar said...

LOL ;op
Superstars don't pee. They don't need to. We are afterall superstars! OH and our Sh*t don't stink either! LOL ;)

You funny lady today! HA HA HA HA HA

Webmiztris said...

the worst callers are the ones who dial the wrong number yet keep insisting they dialed the right number. what. the. FUCK?

Trebuchet said...

1. Don't leave specific messages with "why, what, where, when" details (you're SO on point with that, as usual) and
2. DON'T LEAVE THEM AT ALL. Nothing is worse than a number in my "missed calls" list without a message attributed to it. Nothing except repeated missed calls from the no-message-leaver. Assholes.

Jennifer said...

Hey, you listening in on my personal calls at work?!?



C said...

Ha ha ... great rant. I have one. I just thought the mass email about worker's compensation claims at work was so lame today. It read, and I quote (with some identifying wording left out), "As a result of the extraordinary increases in workers compensation insurance, our organization has determined at the suggestion of our insurance agent that any time a workers compensation instance occurs, the office of Human Resources must be notified of the occurrence immediately. As the procedure now requires, a drug screening will be administered to the employee that was involved in the occurrence." The occurrence ... I hope they go based on the specifics and not just any occurrence. I have carpel tunnel syndrome because ... I just cant stop clutching the tequila bottle. hmmmmm No.
And why is there a comma after requires? May I just say that this was written by one of our brilliant executive officers. Our organization does however, in their defense have employees that have to drive vehicles for part of their jobs.

heartinsanfrancisco said...

I'll always remember the woman who dialed my number by mistake and when apprised of this, said, "Then why did you answer?"

One of my absolute pet peeves is people who park in handicapped spaces and then get out and sprint for the building. I don't think Mentally handicapped is what the DMV had in mind when they designated them.

Anonymous said...

Aggressive non-smokers should be rounded up and thrown into a vacuum sealed containers of purified air. That would leave the rest of us in peace.

Luke Cage said...

Stop stalking the closest parking space at the health club. Isn't the whole point to work out? WALK the extra 30 feet.

- now THAT was some funny sh@# miss Jali. I go to Gold's daily, but you wouldn't believe how folks stalk the closest parking space to the gym. Geeez. Hey, Jack doesn't even seem to eat either. I would figure all of that CTU-ing would at least get a person worked up for a Quizno's sandwich or carryout something at least right??? Dude doesn't even go for a breath mint!

Christina_the_wench said...

I have nothing to add. You posted a lot of similar gripes.

And I never once watched 24. Or Lost. Or Dancing with the Stars. Am I going to some sort of TV hell?

jali said...

I'm always happy when you're in a good mood. I'm coming to visit a little later.

No pee huh? Drink a couple of Molson's and get back to me.

That really pisses me off!

I get quite a few missed calls like that too. I don't call them back.

This administration won't allow me to answer that question.

I hate the pseudo-legalese or the gilding of the lily used in corporate culture.

Why DID you answer it? Ha-ha. What an idiot caller.

Great suggestion!

Isn't it crazy? It's like driving through a walkathon.

You can avoid TV hell by watching the summer reruns of the shows (although that's a different kind of hell)

CP said...


Guilty as charged on the 100 phonecalls to the spouse a day thingie. I just love hearing from my hubby and he from me. We are still in our newlywed phase (even though its three years later). Plus, he works in Georgia but we live in Florida. So I don't see him too often. The phone is all we have!


Have mercy on us!

If it makes a difference, with my epilepsy, I have a permit for handicapped plates, however, I opt not to utilize it. I figure it should be for someone who really needs it.

Does that even out my karma with the 100 phone call thing?



jali said...

Out of state doesn't count, so you're still working for the forces of good.

I think it's cool that you're well enough to give the benefit to someone who really need it. Double karma to the good!

Lightning Bug's Butt said...

Jali, I love your random thoughts. Damn, I loves me some random thoughts.

djn said...

Jali, you just get it ALL out of your system. We're here for you... ;)

Elaine said...

I must agree with LBB, I do love your random thoughts. and you're so right about people bringing babies to the movies.. its called Netflix people. UTI-FUCKIN'LIZE. I haven't seen the inside of a movie theatre since Hitch came out... and I vowed never 25.00 for a movie ever again!

Superstar said...

I hate to leave a message for my peeps. AND I especially hate it when they call me and don't leave me a message.
I do enjoy the text messages. That is something I am growning anappreciation for. I know what you want and I can respond in my time...Us superstar types are so H.M.
Seriously...I pee all the time. My problem is my over welming FEAR/Loathing of a public restrooms. I have an amazing bladder control, and once I break the seal...WHEEEEEWWWWEEE look out. I once took a job for the location to my home so I could go home at lunch to pee. ;o) Sick and wrong. If I go into a public restroom at work. I have to use the same stall each time. I can not "sit" I have to hover ~shivers~
See I should have just stopped at "Superstars don't pee". ;o) he he he he he he.

Irreverent Antisocial Intellectual said...

How could it be that is has taken me this long to find you? I love me some bitching! And you bitch about the right things, so you're about to be named to the list of people to be spared once the revolution comes.
Thanks for stopping by little piece of pageant-free web, glad I followed the crumbs back to you!

Bougie Black Boy said...

a few rants are good. I think you need to have your weekly rant on here. Let some steam out, sistah.

mist1 said...

I wish I could have phone conversations that consisted soley of:

"Hi Honey, whatcha doing?"
"Okay, I love you baby."

People just feel the need to talk to me about all kinda crap.

NeverEnough said...

I'm with ya Jali - don't bitch about my smoking when we live in Atlanta!!

Peachtree Street alone creates more toxic fumes in a day than a pack of smokes does in a month. Believe it.

jali said...

l.b.'s butt,
I love that you love the random thoughts!

Thanks for listening - and being here for me.

Hovering creates the superstrong thighs we women are famous for!

You're bookmarked and I'll be a regular.

It feels good to be heard (and really listened to) - thanks!

jali said...

Hi honey, whatcha doing?


I work on Peachtree in Buckhead - drinks?

jali said...

Sorry I skipped you - forgive me.

When my kids were little all I saw were Disney flicks.