Friday, August 04, 2006

Lyrical Stuff

Okay. Many of you might be familiar with the single, "Bossy" by Kelis (http://www.kelis.co.uk/.

I did an age and temperment based redux of her song. Imagine me singing!!!

Here's my remix:

(Chorus)
I'm grouchy
I'm the one with the cramps I hate
I'm the one with the water weight
That's right I'm the one feelin' all the pain
That's right each month get this crap again.
I'm grouchy
Did a 2 second bathroom dash. Oh shit here's a new hot flash.
That's right it's that long ass hormonal change.
That's right my whole life's being rearranged.

(Verse)
Oooooh.
I'm running short on my estrogen.
Although my periods back again - I wanna know when this shit will end.
Tell me when. Tell me when.

Ooooh.
Everything seems to just make me mad.
I'm sick of looking at menstrual pads.
Why do these stupid cramps feel so bad?
Ain't it sad? Ain't it sad?

(Chorus)
I'm grouchy
I'm the one with the cramps I hate
I'm the one with the water weight
That's right I'm the one feelin' all the pain
That's right each month get this crap again.
I'm grouchy
Did a 2 second bathroom dash.
Oh shit here's a new hot flash.
That's right it's that long ass hormonal change.
That's right my whole life's being rearranged.

15 comments:

heartinsanfrancisco said...

I have always thought that to be a woman is to conspire in the absurd.

It's a rotten way to treat those who keep the human race going. What were they thinking?

Hugs to you!!

Miss Ann Thrope said...

apparently it can last anywhere from 1-10 years.

There's a timeline for ya.

Me, I've been flatling on the FSH for 3 years now...up down, up again. I don't have a uterus so I can't tell what's what but my stuff coincides with garbage week which really, how appropriate is that?

Some months...nothing.
This month, the whole freaking pot of hormone soup...and it's lasting longer.

Course, i can't use it as an excuse to be bitchy seeing as how I'm like that all the time and stuff.

Blonde Vigilante said...

Oh, you are great. Thanks for the laugh.

dirk.mancuso said...

I am soooooo glad men only go grey and shit like that.

I could NOT contend with all that and being a poof to boot.

Big gay hug,

Dirk

Elaine said...

OH. My GOD. I could barely get through reading your revamped song, I was so afraid I'd soil myself from laughing.

This was an Excellent and might I add a BETTER, rendition of that godawful song.

You're bookmarked my dear...

~d (tilde) said...

THIS has GOT to Be thE BeSt Post I havE read All WeeK! OmiGoD! This Is KIlling ME! HOLY! HOLY! Nas needs to meet YOU, Jail!
heart.

winters said...

That's great.
You've turned something banal into a thing of beauty. That's what makes life real...
Go Jali!

C said...

okay it's bad enough we have to deal with this monthly but a song about it too?? No.

Sparky said...

Great song Jali!

I left you another Welcome Back under your I'm back blog.

Keep those creative juices flowing!

Heather said...

Hi! Thanks for stopping by my blog! This post is HILARIOUS! I promise to post more often, though it has actually only been two DAYS since I posted, not two months. I just have my date system set to pretentious European settings...

jali said...

Hearts.
If men had periods there would have been legislation years ago giving us each an extra week to deal with this.
Thanks for the hugs!

miss ann thrope,
..but you're a bitch for the good!

blond vigilanet,
Glad you liked it - thanks.

Dirk,
I live for the big gay hugs!!!

Elaine,
Thanks - I'm coming over later so have snacks ready!

~d,
Whoa! The cool chick likes my stuff!!!! Thanks ~d!

winters,
You're making me fall for you!

c,
I feel ya. Stick your fingers in your ears cause I'm singing right now!

Sparky,
Tell me more...you know me from Hollis... Michael?

Heather,
You know that "duh" feeling? Oh, the European calander you say...thanks for the kind words.

Miss-Informed said...

I DON'T like the song, but I adore yours!

jali said...

miss-informed,
Thanks you! I did it at my open mic night - it was fun.

NeverEnough said...

Damn, I LOVE it!! I would die laughing if I heard someone singing this loud outloud!

jali said...

neverenough,
The crowd laughed. I was happy.
Drinks???? one night after 5:30?